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Nicotine and disposable pods

Fiovia August 23rd, 2021
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I started with disposable pods December of last year. Pods give me a sense of fulfillment of sorts. With my anxiety I already had that craving for struggling to breathe. Pods help me with that, make me numb for some time which is all I could ask for. Today I’m 11 days sober but tbh I’m just doing it to prove to myself I can be without it if I want to, cause I’ve been thinking about buying a new one everyday since I temporarily quit. Every chance I have to by a new one I think of the way I’ll do it. I’ll sneak out of my house, buy it from the store near my house, then come back as if nothing happened. I think my home environment has a lot to do with it, but then again am I just not blaming others for things that are my fault again? And while I write this I just feel like I’m trying to guilt trip whoever reads this into thinking this isn’t my fault and this isn’t an addiction, that I’m just overreacting. Again, so many people my age are worst, they don’t even have issues but they can’t love without pods, some have even moved to cigarettes. So I sit here thinking wait so am I actually that bad?? And idk

i don’t think I h e any dependence symptoms or whatever you call it, but I want them back so bad.

can someone please tell me is not bad so I can get back to pods

1
QuietMagic August 25th, 2021
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@Fiovia

Hi--thanks for sharing. 💜 From what you've said, you have some anxiety and you've felt like the pods have helped with that in the past by numbing some of that. You've been 11 days sober (congrats!) but you still think about it and how you would do it.

Also understand what you're saying that there were some issues with your home environment that feel like they might have triggered it--by causing a lot of the anxiety that led to you seeking out and finding relief in pods. I don't see it as overreacting or blaming others or anything like that to notice that that's a contributing factor.

Using the pods is an action that has certain positive effects (e.g. alleviating anxiety) and negative effects (e.g. long-term physical and mental health issues). My understanding is that nicotine is harmful in general even if it's taken in by other methods apart from cigarettes. And vaping has been independently studied and found to have health risks. So, if you're if you're able to find a sustainable way to keep yourself from using the pods, you're doing something really helpful for your long-term well-being, especially when you have a lot of years still left to live.

Can understand though that the underlying anxiety would still be an issue. Here are a couple resources I found that I hope might be of some help:
1) List of ideas for things to do instead of smoking/vaping
2) Self-care tips for anxiety

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