I know how you feel....where I live we have a word for it, it's called "somehow". It means that the feelings are deep and complex, multifaceted, and difficult to put into words. We can feel so many things at the same time.
Grief is complex and different for everyone. DABDA is used to describe certain stages, but grief is non-linear. You may move from one stage to another and then back again, or be in multiple stages at the same time. It's complicated, I know how you feel, somehow. I am here. I need a friend too.
