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My husband is addicted to video games

SunflowerAnxiety June 9th, 2020
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Hello

so my husband is always playing video games with his friends online. When I say always I mean always. As soon as he gets home from work he sits on the desk. He takes a break for dinner and goes back to his desk. His desk is in the living room which is the bedroom as well. He sometimes turns to say "I love you baby" and goes back to playing until bed time.
he prefers to stay home and plays then going anywhere. Lately he even gave up going to do groceries with me which is the only thing we actually do outside.
I sometimes say it must be stressful at work he needs it.

but I have no one here to talk to or to interact with. No friends no family no work nothing at all.
even when I ask him to watch a movie together or anything he switches to playing on his phone.

When we make plans to go to a lake or to a park he says ok sure tomorrow or this weekend and he never goes through it.
I am so sick of this and I don't know what to do

6
Evokun June 18th, 2020
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@SunflowerAnxiety

I, who was once a heavy gamer, can relate to the addiction your husband is experiencing. But I've come to my senses now that I have heavy responsibilities in my life and I have to sacrifice my hobby for something else although I do play sometimes for just a few hours 2x-3x a week, sometimes less or never play at all.

Your husband has to understand, as a married man, his responsibilities are now taking care of the needs of you as well. He can still play from time to time but not at the expense of the marriage life. Being stressed at work is no excuse to not communicate what is going on with his work life. You have to tell this to him and hopefully it will go through his head. If it's hard for him to quit, I think a therapist should help.

oOoOarielleOoOo August 12th, 2020
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@SunflowerAnxiety games are designed to be addictive by nature. It's how they make money. The more you play, the more you want to "support developers" by buying skins, the more time you feel like you have to put in it because of Sunk Cost Fallacy. It's an endless cycle. And he's never going to break from it until he sees and recognizes the problem himself. He needs to be the one to put his own foot down. If you could convince him to take just one week off for his mental health, that might do the trick.

One thing to keep in mind is this could be one of his few ways of interacting with his friends. Or, maybe he doesn't want to think about the fact his bedroom is his living room. Maybe it's just a really fun game and he secretly wishes you would join him.

Was there ever a time when he wasn't like this? Do you guys have any hobbies in common you can do instead?

CrowSpectre June 10th, 2020
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@SunflowerAnxiety

that is a difficult situation, miss, but you can try these, they might help.

in your account, you claim that you enjoy solitude but with your husband, miss, who is like you. you do admire that more than much and that is the reason you put it there, because you feel that that is a description of yourself. God bless you, miss. you will have to do something similar for your husband as well. when a male or a boy, loses at a game, from a girl or a female, the boy leaves the game and goes for the girl. that really is true, but your husband only recently adapted games, and the above is seen to work on people who start playing games from a very young age. so although your husband is from a different category, there is a chance it might work, and even if it does not then at least you as well will realize his passion and the maybe, the reasons for playing as well, although i doubt you will undersrand the reasons because females do not like playing games like the other gender. but even if you cannot understand anything and start playing and ignoring your husband and keep delaying works because you 'will after this one', then he might get annoyed and understand his own negligence of you, good miss, and that might cause him to reconsider his actions.

or you can become the strict elder and take away all the toys and ground him. like not let him in until he puts away the devices or something similar, which you think works for you better.

you can also try contacting videogame players like mr. james rolfe or mr. mike matei, who both are married and have children, at least i know mr. rolfe does, and they both have been playing games since childhood. they are mature in it and maybe able to guide you better and you can find them easily through internet, you can mail them on their personal address but try not to leave a comment on their videos because your matter is of a personal nature and there is no need to involve people in it. you can also find similar people on your own, miss. you will have to type a clear mail and address your situation and position very clearly like a foreigner in a foreigner land. and for the title of the mail, you can say, kindly help mr. rolfe or _______, and you will have to drop three emails, everyday because they have a very busy schedule. i hope you find help and guidance, miss, and more than that, i hope you get your soul back, your beloved husband.

God bless you and your Family, good miss, and grant you what you wish for with much ease and without much hardships and make your life happy, prosperous, peaceful and kind.

intellectualKitten9408 June 20th, 2020
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@SunflowerAnxiety

if you believe god you can pray for him and you both are try meet a counselor it.

crimsonWheel296 April 17th, 2021
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Oh boy that conversation ended up pretty lame... Making gender stereotypical assumptions (why women not like video games..? 😳) and advising on praying?! I came here as I am having the same issue with husband playing too much and not coming to bed.. I would really lik to know if you found any positive outcome. Thanks.

MilkyWay99 April 20th, 2021
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This is really sad considering that he has apparently completely forgotten about his duties to his family. But still, it seems to me that he should just show a different kind of games from which you can get not only the time spent, but also at least some profit, for example, as this page. I personally used to spend a lot of my time there, but now I decided to devote my time to it.