It's a new day a new month new new perception!!
Im seeing things through a different lens these days. Life seems to be working for me a little better. I'm seeming to manage every day challenges just a little better than before.
I have many addiction problems but the main one That was hurting me the most my crypt tonight i have manage to stay clean for 58 days. Wow I finally said it out loud. I was afraid to tell anyone just in case I relapsed again which I'm famous for. But I'm pretty proud of 58 days. I've changed everything in my life over these 58 days. I have unfortunately had to stay away from old friends and family members to stay in my sobriety. It is not easy it's not a day goes by sometimes that I have a glimpse of wanting to do it or something along that line.
The week in between Christmas and New Year's another one of my addiction took me down. It was for a short time but it still took me down. I was so sad that I wasn't able to make it through the holidays. My family can be difficult and very judge mental and I didn't make it. However I've been clean from that and every other drug for 34 days now.
i'm super excited of both of my accomplishments. Just last week I was faced with another Blow to my system that you would usually take me down. And I thought about it oh did I think about it. But instead I found myself grounded. I pictured myself as a tree firm in the ground and when these blows of wind came they could push me around and around but they did not take me down. Even when it's a family member that hurt you because they usually hurt you the most they might chop off a branch but the tree still doesn't fall. through my friends on 7 cups and some other contacts in my community I have managed to grow and learn a lot more about myself and how wonderful I actually am and how I can survive this world without trying to numb it all the time.. The pain and the discomfort used to get so bad that I would do anything and take anything so I wouldn't feel anything anymore.
Now I'm doing the exact opposite. Life is full of wonderful feelings and I'm in bracing them with an open heart and grounded feet.
I've been super proud that I made it through I just felt like I needed to share this I've been wanting to scream at the top of a mountain about my achievements. But I have no one to share them with with So I'm sharing them here with my 7 cups family ❤️
