Book addiction

Hi @rationalPlace9748 💜

The addiction to reading itself sounds awesome but the part where you feel you can't deal with life is challenging.

Life is tough indeed, but perhaps begin with, what are you finding most challenging to deal with in life?

@rationalPlace9748

Hey, I conindentally talked to my therapist about that: I wanted help for my internet dependency, and my therapist suggested reading books instead. But I when I start reading a book, I basically cannot stop reading till its finished - i eat over it, go to the toilet, I avoid showering to be able to keep reading etc. The therapist said it was still a heathier habit than internet browsing, and happened not to have more advice on the matter. The real issue of course is the escapism, right? This is really general advice, and not applicable if you are clinically depressed, but here goes: First monitor your habit and your feelings really closely. If you find patterns, that is something you have a good chance tackling succesfully:

If you notice that you pick up a book everytime you feel the world is overwhelming, that is good info. But can you also find a pattern of when you feel overwhelmed? What do you feel when you try to put down the book? How do you feel on the days you don't read? So, maybe your pattern is like this: At night, after not having been able to finish all the tasks you set for yourself, you are dissapointed in yourself and the world and a book can quiet down those thoughts. You may have already made plans for "book abstinence", but you say to yourself that an hour of reading can't hurt and that you'll stop then. You read over an hour, and with every minute you read, you feel more guilty which makes facing the real world even more difficult, so putting down the book becomes just too painful. You fall asleep, way too late, book in hand. Most mornings, you are feeling less in need of escape and start the day relatively well, but your nights often end up as described above.

Now, what would the steps by to stop this useless, hurtful cycle? You NEED a plan for what to do with your thoughts at night. You sadly are not likely to find a healthy activity that is equally gratifying as reading books is, and this is where the major difficulty lies. There are huge lists of activities to do, they can be pretty boring on the surface: painting, meditating, stretching, cooking etc. but they are your ticket out of your habit. So if you feel bad at night, that effectively excludes any loud (so now dance workout or no cooking in case your living situation is such that that would distrurb your enighbours) or outdoor activities. Let's say your plan is the following: Knowing that your need for escapism that triggers your habit often comes up at 11 pm, you start, EVERY DAY, a routine at 9 pm, in a state where you dont feel all weak and bad yet: You get out your mp3 player and put on an calm but still entertaining playlist (e.g. Ub40, David Brubeck Quartett). You take any books you'd read and put them into a designated box preferably outside your bedroom. You say to yourself and the books "I will not be needing you for this night. I am allowed to read you again at 9 am next morning and not earlier. You are not good for me in this state." If you think you might just go on your phone or laptop and read stuff there, you put them into the box as well. You get out any utensils you need for the activity you will do - if you strecht, get your mat and blackroll, if you draw, you get out your supplies and a trash can for clean up, if you think a self-care routine may take your minds of books and the need to escape, then you get out that stufff (easiest is just soaking your hands and feet and taking care of your cuticles or doing a DIY hairmask). You look at the supplies you got and say to yourself "Right now, I am feeling pretty calm, but it is likely that I am going to feel pretty bad in the next couple of hours. To help me trough that until I am sleepy enough to sleep, I am going to use these activities. I will take care of myself, I will be cautious to think good thoughts." At this point it is 9.30 pm, and you can either keep studying/doing chores until you feel a hint of feeling the need for escapism at which point you really have to get out the mp3 player again and go to your activities or you just start with the new activites at once, slowly carefully doing them, not allwoing your mind to get too excited or angry, watching it and replacing thoughts like "Ugh, Politics is the worst" with "The world has come pretty far all in all. But that doesnt matter right now. Right now I am just learning to stay calm and okay." You do those calm boring activities till bed time, you go to bed, and the first day without books has been survived. If you wake up in the morning, and later on feel an urge for books you can set up a time frame where you are allowed to read books, e.g. every day form 9 to 10/11 am. Just knowing that if you miss the time frame on one day, you dont have to wait long till the next time frame pops up, might relieve that urge while you still not reading books.

Okay, one day survived, about 89 to go till you feel completly comfortable in that new routine (I think at least 3 months is the time frame you need to form a new habit).

You still need to find out how to cope with relapses, still need to find out how to cope when the acitivites feel just time-consuming, and especially you need to figure out why your brian needs that escapism in the first place, but I havent figured those out myself yet so I cant help much there. Also I want to say again, this might be completly useless advice for you, but that doesnt mean other people and forums like these dont have good advice for you. So, if this doesnt help, just keep looking - getting rid of a bad habit is *chef's kiss* really something big in life.

TL;DR: Analyze your feelings and habits. Beware of trigger times and fill them with concretly planned-out activites. Have thoughts ready to counter your urge/escapism thoughts. Be patient as getting rid of habits takes 3 months or so. Figure out eventually why your brain needs escapism. Take all of this with a grain of salt, I am just a fellow person with bad habits/additcitons whatever