Inspiring Women in the Mental Health Community

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Kristin Neff is a writer and professor in the psych field who does a lot of research on self-compassion! I’ve read a few of her books before and one of the best I’ve ever read is her book: “Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive"

Also, honorable mention to Karen Horney for founding feminist psych. As a psych student myself, I love her work.💜

Today I want to speak about a friend who left a bad relationship with a narcissist. For many years she did not realize this was his personality. She can be a people pleaser and as we all know that can attract people like that. They had two kids and while they had their struggles for sure and she sometimes complained about treatment, she was happy enough to stay. Then Covid hit. All of our relationships were heated to a point as many lost their jobs and we were all stuck at home with our lived ones all the time if not only much more often. He lost his job. Had to start moving around to do work. Eventually started taking her and the boys with him but he was caught cheating and started gaslighting hardcore and not handling the finances well to take care of his family and instead spending it on his side pieces. At one point he even abandoned them in Florida. She tried to make it work as he continuously promised it would be better (if only she would have faith in him gaslight gaslight) but finally gave up as it was hurting her mental health and she did not want her boys to think that was acceptable to treat you partner or children that way. She has given him openings to be in the boys lives. Instead he lives upstairs from them with a new girl he has described in a very grotesque way as just a place to sleep and someone to use. Does not see his children, though obviously they see him coming and going or out on the balcony. Torments my friend emotionally. She works hard every day for herself and her children. She even came over to help me and my boyfriend move furniture for a bit the other day while she was preparing for one of her son’s birthdays after school. She invests in her spirituality by doing witchcraft as it brings her peace and helps with her mental health and is learning about mental health and working towards being better for herself and her kids. She is an absolute dynamo. I will not name her for privacy’s sake but wanted to share this in case anyone else is going through something similar and does not think they can succeed. Yes you can. Get out safely when you are able and live your life, loves.

There is hope. She shows me how strong women can be every day. She admits her problems, works on them in healthy ways, seeks support when needed and is there for others when she is able to be. An absolute dynamo. Other than missing their father cause how can you not (even if you are mad at them) those boys are in the best hands they could be in. And i am lucky to have her as a friend.