The River
We are going down the river of life in our kayak. At the start, it may feel unnatural or a little clumsy. Maybe we lose our paddle or get stuck on rocks, but with more experience we gradually learn to read the water.
With a little more experience we can begin to feel the current pulling us. Sometimes we might not want to follow the current. Instead, we might have our eye on a beautiful spot across the water on the side of a river bank. Many of us will work really hard to cross the river to get to that spot. It will require a lot of extra paddling because we are going against the current.
One sad, but instructive experience happens when you finally make it to that hoped for spot and realize it is not as good as you had imagined. You were sure it was going to be beautiful, but somehow it fell short of that beauty. This is frustrating because it took so much energy to get there.
Some of us are stubborn, slow to learn, or both, and we have to make this same mistake many, many, many times.
Eventually, however, we too learn how to read the water and follow the current. Sometimes the current leads us right past the spots we wanted to go and then surprises us around the bend with a far better spot. These are great situations. Oddly, even though we shouldn't, we often give ourselves credit for finding the new spot, when most of the credit should go to the current. Still, these are great times and should be deeply enjoyed because they do not happen all the time.
Other times the current can lead us down more treacherous waters with rocks, eddies, and sticks that can be tough to navigate. Sometimes we lose a paddle, flip the kayak and get wet. In particularly tough times, we may even get injured. We don’t usually take “credit” for our role in these situations and instead happily blame the current.
Why do these more challenging times happen?
I believe they happen so that we can learn. Nobody wants to feel the anxiety, difficulties, and sometimes pain that happens during these times, but these are indeed the times that teach us the most skill. We don’t learn to become master kayakers when the river is smooth. We learn how to be master kayakers on the rapids. Adversity challenges us to overcome.
So, what is the right approach?
The approach is one that goes against our natural impulses. It can sometimes feel like it goes against everything that is within us, especially when it is painful and not what we had hoped for. The stoics were master kayakers and they have a statement, “the problem is the path.” They encourage us to steer into the challenges and to trust the current. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) encourages us to see the challenge as an opportunity to learn to solve a problem that we’ve been ignoring. These are wise words.
Abraham Maslow, another master kayaker, tells us to go further. He instructs us to see the challenges as a gift, to embrace them like we would a friend, to listen deeply and carefully to what they are telling us, to listen to their whispers. He encourages us to see the challenges as ends in and of themselves; and warns us not to look past them as a means to an end. He wants us to see and appreciate them for what they are – independent, difficult, and beautiful experiences.
The river of life brings us smooth, deep, and troubled waters. Thankfully we do not paddle alone. We find other kayakers on the water that also teach us lessons. Most of the lessons come down to following the current rather than insisting on our own plans. This key lesson is a lifetime lesson.
Reflection question: We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
I’m thankful that I have found all of you on the river. Thank you for paddling alongside me 🙏✨❤️.
@GlenM what a lovely write.
@DraytonWantsToHelp thank you! Anything you would tell a friend that is going through some rough waters?
@GlenM I am that friend. I need someone like you to talk to.
what an amazing way i loved what you wrote thank you so much
@Inspirationalspirit28 I appreciate those kind words! Do you have any words you share with a friend that is going through some challenging waters?
@GlenM without context words of encouragement can become platitudes and start to serve the listener to feel better.
I think life is challenging and at times we feel stuck, stressed or anxious. Sometimes we have to mourn for the things we hoped for or are missing. Sometimes there isn't a bigger plan behind the present. It is what it is. Hopefully we can accept the stones and the bumps and the leaks while paddling and move forward in time and every breath.
@SoulfullyAButterfly thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us! You are an old soul. I love the wisdom and the purpose infused in this work. ✨
@SoulfullyAButterfly Thanks for sharing your poem, it is beautiful.
You have a purpose. It might not be visible. You may see nothing but obstacles ahead with no sign of a clearing, but as long as you're on the water, you're going in the right direction. Keep persevering. This pain and hardship will one day make sense to you.
@Heather225 yes! what a great message to tell a friend. Hang in there! You are still discovering your purpose. It is there and working itself out in you!
@Heather225 You're a very wise person.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
@Heather225 @GlenM
That is true. Keep persevering. It reminds me of this quote from a children's movie, 'just keep swimming' and do not give up.
Things may not be easy. But if we choose to go through it instead of going around it, we will come out of it stronger. And also stay kind to ourselves as we go through difficult times.
@GlenM What a wonderful post, thank you for writing this ❤️
I would tell my friend "I'm with you no matter what. Let's enjoy and celebrate the calm. When we hit the rapids we paddle together. Eventually we will get out of them. We'll come out of every situation wiser and stronger together."
@Cancun I love this! I love the emphasis on we/us and we'll get through it together! Community at its best!
@GlenM
Thank you for building such a loving and supportive community. 💗
@GlenM Thank you for posting the River. It is wonderful and inspirational!
@GlenM I would tell my friend:
I know what you're going through is challenging, but I also know that you have what it takes to get through it. Remember all of the times you've done that and gotten on the other side of your challenges. I know this will be the same.
@GlenM
We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now?
Thinking about this after your amazing metaphor story. I think "rough rapids" would have been an understatement to the hurdles that life threw at me over the past few years. I'm sure as we live through this global pandemic together, everyone has felt that struggle. I think If I were to reflect on this and offer any kind words they would be: forming meaningful connections with people who you feel safe with goes a long way. Communities like 7 Cups for an anonymous chat or involvement with the community are valid and accessible. I, along with many others on 7 Cups have felt the benefit of having a safe space and building camaraderie in this community. Humans need connections, and just like the other kayakers in your metaphor, these hard waters are easier when we have those around us to see our struggles and be supportive.
Thank you for this insight and I raise my paddle to you
🚣
@broadfemmelovelive what a lovely post! I raise my paddle to you too! I looked for a picture to represent your image of high fiving with a paddle, but couldn't find it. It very nicely captures the feeling! Deep and meaningful connections - the best stuff in life - and I 100% agree that those relationships are what gets us through the hurdles. Thank you for sharing!
@GlenM
Thanks so much! It means a lot to me to have this community. I was just talking this morning in the Listeners Community Room about how its my 7th 7 Cups birthday this April. I think it's gonna be a big one.
@broadfemmelovelive 7 years! Thank you for 7 years of service to our community ❤️. I very much appreciate you looking out and helping our friends along the river!