Module 1. Mindfulness: (Discussion #4) Describing
DBTuesday is a series of posts where we explore skills and concepts from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT).
This is one of several posts focusing on mindfulness, which is the first module of DBT skills training. See this post for general info about DBT and this post for more info about mindfulness.
What is “describing”?
In the past couple posts, we have discussed the mindfulness skill of observing, which is non-judgmentally noticing the experiences that are happening right now.
The next mindfulness skill of describing is putting what you observe into words.
Describing is based on observing
When discussing observing, we mentioned that sometimes there will be an original experience and then there will be a stream of thoughts reacting to that experience.
Experience -> Thought #1 -> Thought #2 -> Thought #3 -> etc.
One of the aims of observing is to stay with the original experience instead of following that stream of thoughts.
With describing, we are putting words to what we observe. That means we are still staying with the original experience, just like we do with observing.
Examples of what describing is and isn’t
Let’s say that my current experience is that I notice I’m feeling tired.
Here are a few examples of what describing might look like:
- "I feel sleepy"
- "My eyes ache"
- "My arms feel tired"
Here are a few examples of things that wouldn’t be considered describing:
- Opinions like "I hate being tired!"
- Judgments like "I shouldn’t be feeling tired"
- Concepts/explanations like "I’m tired because I got only 4 hours of sleep last night"
Suppressing distracting thoughts doesn’t work
This is a slight deviation from the topic above, but I wanted to discuss a question that personally arose for me while I was researching for this post:
"I understand what you are saying about how 'describing' is ideally supposed to work. But what if I find that my mind is just naturally full of all kinds of opinions, judgments, and concepts? What am I supposed to do if that happens?"
There is a well-known body of psychological research on ironic process theory that suggests that trying to suppress thoughts actually makes it more likely that those thoughts will occur.
How to handle distracting thoughts
In a prior DBTuesday post on mindfulness, it was mentioned that there are a couple general approaches to mindfulness.
- "Focusing the mind" involves picking a particular object and trying to keep one’s attention on that
- "Opening the mind" involves just noticing whatever happens to be there and allowing one’s object of attention to spontaneously shift
These two approaches have slightly different strategies for responding to distracting thoughts.
If you are following a "focusing" approach to mindfulness, you can simply redirect your attention back to your original, chosen object. The research mentioned above on ironic process theory has found that focusing on an "absorbing distractor" is a viable approach for reducing the frequency of unwanted thoughts.
If you are following an "opening" approach to mindfulness, then the attitude would be that there isn’t really any such thing as a distraction. If a distraction happens, it is just a new experience to notice and observe. Anything/everything that happens can be used as an object for awareness.
Questions for reflection
1) Spend a few minutes observing your experience and describe one or two things you have noticed.
2) Which approach to mindfulness (focusing or opening) feels most appealing to you?
Sources:
https://bayareadbtcc.com/describe-mindfulness-skill-dbt-part-2/
https://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/describing.html
https://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/10/unwanted-thoughts
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-018-28274-4
Just responding to my own questions:
1) My arms feel cold and my eyelids feel tired
2) I personally prefer an "opening" approach to mindfulness because it feels less like work
@QuietMagic thank you for all of this, I have BPD and I'm finding all of this very useful. 💜
@QuietMagic
Thanks for posting all of this and putting so much work into it 💚 it makes it easier to digest in chunks like this 💚
1) my head feels heavy,
I've been fighting jaw clam and can feel the residual pressure still
My teeth ache
I feel a pressure in my skull, like a tired headache
2) I think the approach of opening fits me most, I find it easier to let the thoughts and sensations come to me uninterrupted.
I think I find it harder to pick a subject/object and stay with it, that when the thoughts wander
@QuietMagic
1. Experience: I feel hot.
My jaw is clenched. I felt uncomfortable, and then frustrated. I wanted to change my clothes. I kept squirming.
2. For now, opening the mind feels best. I struggle with staying on track and I tend to invalidate or suppress how I feel. It would be good to practice simply watching it all and learning to be okay with it.
1) Spend a few minutes observing your experience and describe one or two things you have noticed.
I just had a slight argument with co-worker. I noticed that I am slightly irritated, sad and tired. Eyes feel sleepy and under tension, and hands/arms are a bit itchy. I did what I could.
2) Which approach to mindfulness (focusing or opening) feels most appealing to you?
I think it is both. When I focus on something single, I would still be open to the fact that distraction will come. I'd be open and accepting to anything that would come, to treat it kindly and then shift my attention back to the focus.
When I am being aware and open to whatever thoughts, sensations and else would come, I am still focused, but on the fact that thoughts go as a flow if I let them, and on the fact that I would be worse at maintaining openness, if I'd let myself sink in particular chain of thoughts too much. It is okay to have a chain of thoughts, but in approach of openness, I'd focus on letting them eventually change.
@windSpirit
Yeah, it definitely does sound like both approaches have elements of the other:
- While focusing, there's still an understanding that distractions are going to come and you're trying to be kind and accepting toward them
- While being open, there's still a focus on noticing chains of thought and being aware of whether or not you've gotten stuck on a particular thing, so that those thoughts can move freely and change naturally
