Grandiosity
A very central theme and topic that should be understood to understand Cluster B Personality Disorders is grandiosity.
What is grandiosity? How does it relate to ASPD?
Externally grandiosity is interpreted by the tendency of an individual to exaggerate one’s talents, and to regard themselves as more unique and superior, but it is much more than that. Grandiosity is one’s mental presentation of social reality superimposed on the actual social reality.
That is to say, there are different kinds of grandiosity, different experiences with grandiosity and different ways they develop in every person, traumas, neglect, abuse or other factors not yet known can cause inhibitions or unsettlement of mental presentations associated with social realities. (You can read Heinz Kohut's The Analysis of the Self to understand how grandiosity develops and integrates into personality via a psychoanalytic perspective)
Grandiosity is hence a problem when it is not integrated in a healthy way with our worldview, lack flexibility to grow with our experiences or is in juxtaposition with actual reality.
In ASPD grandiosity is self sustained, i.e. external validation of social reality is not required,
-this marks the tendency to have rigid expectations of others,
Black and White thinking but in the context of individuals.
Example, meeting someone new and arriving on the conclusion that this person is good for us, based on the first few encounters. Even if the person is not good for us later on, a rigid expectation of them being good is sustained.
Expecting a spouse or parent to never leave you, when they leave, being unable to cope with the changed reality and being unable to move on and form other relationships. Trying to get back with the spouse and not being able to accept rejection.
(The examples are extreme) Rigid expectations can as seen be detrimental to oneself or to others.
-loss of flexibility in interpreting other people's motives
As seen in above examples, rigid expectations can lead to an inhibited quality to analyses and review other peoples motivations. Good or bad, consistent with ours or against ours.
and when this mental presentation, grandiosity is challenged, one can be triggered to avoid, deny or control the reality. Hence grandiosity relates to one’s perception of interpersonal relationships in ASPD.
Manipulation links with grandiosity:
Manipulation is not always driven by an ill-will, everyone is competent enough to manipulate, everyone does manipulate others daily for several things and to gain outcomes with are consistent with our reality. Manipulation can hence be seen as a rhetoric, purpose driven form of communication.
As we can see, when personal reality does not coincide with actual reality or shared social reality, the manipulation could be against other individuals reality, hence a cause of mental discomfort, cognitive dissonance and more.
Note: Grandiosity is not always a negative asset, a disconnect with the shared social reality is imperative in changing it for the better or challenging false notions which are inherent in a social reality and accepted as the norm by society. For growth, change and at times for the mere sustenance of peace, harmony- Grandiosity is needed.
Each person is different, so is true for everyone with ASPD.
The things shared above are conceptual thoughts in psychologically. A discourse, any discourse, is always evolving, changing and subject to scrutiny from other discourses. Especially this discourse on ASPD which is problematic on many levels. Please do not use this or anything else to diagnose yourself, consult a professional. Do not label other people or their behaviors. This thread is to explain things as frankly and as objectively as one can, for the benefit of telling people with ASPD that help and understanding is possible. To tell other people that they need to stop negative connotations and demonizing everything they don't understand.