Community

Hurting

35 & Over Community / by ethughes1987

5 minutes ago

Vent and feeling negative for a while since my dad's talk around 2 nights ago

Family & Caregivers / by SilencedConstrained

6 minutes ago

...See more Vent: My dad is 65 years old and day by day, his mental process of thinking and comprehending is decreasing, more easily irritated and it would only get worse as he grows older. For example, he sometimes forget that he had already heated up the water for my shower and that I already showered, so he would heat up the water again and tell me to take a bath to which I had to after reminding him because saying no would anger him, plus, the already boiled water would be a waste. One day, my dad was asking me whether if I want <Meal A> or <Meal B> from a fast food restaurant we occasionally order from, so I answered with <Meal A> and said to him that <Meal A> has more meat than <Meal B> (with the purpose to give him an analytical information of which one is better to me). My dad replied "So which one you want!?" to which I answered with "<Meal A>" and then he said "Why did you have to say such nonsense?!" and he was in a bad mood for the whole day and waited for my mom to come back home because he planned to use her as an emotional punching bag (I believe what I said about <Meal A> having more meat is an analytical information and the intent is easily comprehensible, is it not? Am I wrong?). A meal is never delicious when I'm experiencing negative emotions such as anger or sadness, that have been internally experienced many times, but I still have to eat and finish the meal, otherwise, my dad will get more angry. I still remember which areas he smack me at, the most is the back of my neck, I keep feeling the urge to tear off the skin of that place to remove the emotional 'mark'. I don't even trust his praises anymore because one time on a day which I still remember clearly, I helped to give him a drink, the amount is a half cup of water, I wasn't certain if the measure of the half cup of water I gave is correct or not, but he did a hum of approval and said "Good" when he saw the contents of the cup, so I ingrained that moment in my mind in order to remember that same amount to be correct and not be scolded for forgetting. But three days after, when I did the same amount, he scolded, angrily remarking and whining that "It's little" and then I argued back, saying that this is the amount I remembered that he said was good to which he answered "Ah, maybe I said that to save your face!" (to clarify it means that "He maybe did not want me feel shame at that time"), this made me feel resentful and anger due to feeling that my attempt to remember what was 'correct' from his seemingly approval was a lie, but at same time worthless especially when I heard him whispering "stupid" and when he said "I've learned something. I don't need your help anymore. I do it myself because you're stupid." My Dad's Talk: Around 2 nights ago, he was talking about how a <specific nation> is superior, being smarter and hard-working than others which holds truth because that nation have commendable achievements. (For confidential reasons, I won't reveal what is that specific nation, but I'll highlight it as <specific nation>). I am a half-blood of a nation from my mom's blood which what he calls a <stupid, 3rd-level nation> and <specific nation> from my dad's blood. But the traits of the <stupid, 3rd-level nation> is more dominant in my personality. After he finished talking about the <specific nation>, he then talks about the future of the <stupid, 3rd-level nation>, how the people future will become barbarians due to the management and the corruption and that there's no future for it, calling the people to be useless with low IQ which made feel me depressed because I view that since I have the blood and traits, that he constantly points out, of the <stupid, 3rd-level nation>, I'll also be stupid and useless as well, I have no future nor will I achieve improvement especially with my clumsiness and the amount of mistakes I have. I simply sit and quietly listen to him, not doing anything else since to show I'm paying attention and don't want to be rude despite his topic affecting me negatively which is ironic since sometimes when I'M the one who talks about negative topics that I find interesting, he yelled at me to "SHUT UP!" which emotionally hurts me a lot. He gets to show his negative emotions as much as he wants while I'm not allowed to express my emotions at all like when I cry, he tells me "to stop crying, I don't like that." with no comfort such as hugs. My mom is more better in emotional support than him. "Failure is the mother of success" Is what I seen constantly online, what my father said once and it seems to be the truth. But how can I accept my mistakes with ease when my father's attitude towards my mistakes is like he's condemning me, making angry shouts and whines with that negative expression of his and calls me insults, saying swear words in his native language? I have a language exchange partner, and to me, I love how she tries to understand my psychology, my interests, being a listener and lets me talk what I feel like talking about which my dad lacks. The problem is that it's possible she may be a spy or a manipulator. Oh... But I wish I would have a genuine friend like that who isn't a manipulator... I feel scared, maybe anxious whenever my dad is in a very bad mood and if he's constantly irritated, and we stay together everyday 24/7. I feel it's the wrong time to leave him, and I think the best time to leave is after he passed away from old age which is still a long time. My mom goes to work everyday except her day offs, I'm not allowed to go out at all if my dad don't permit it. I always seemed to have something negative to say about my dad every month. I don't have much people to talk to online, most of my language exchange partners seems to like casual things and doesn't have the tolerance to handle my negative moments. Fortunately, I don't get triggered as much as I did compared to the time when my dad started to have physical balance issues, but I would go into an impulsive outburst from time to time, it's rare, but it's still possible.

Academy Polls, Round 10: What spontaneous moment brings you the most joy?

Leadership Development Program / by Hope

10 minutes ago

Academy Polls, Round 10: Which small daily activity brings you the most joy?

7 Cups Academy / by Hope

11 minutes ago

looking for pen pal

Pen Pals / by Keineahnung123

13 minutes ago

Hi people!

Newbie Hub / by PsychPrashansa13

17 minutes ago

7 Tips For a Healthy & Happy Thanksgiving~

Healthy Living / by PoliteOcean

19 minutes ago

...See more HEY EVERYBODY~ 🦃 Thanksgiving is almost upon us! It's that special time of the year when we give thanks, celebrate and enjoy the time, company of those you care about, and things you are grateful for. 🦃However, sometimes it can be a challenge to stick to the healthy habits you may have worked so hard to build. But, The good news is that it doesn't have to be this way~ 🦃Here are 7 tips to help you prepare and make healthier choices this Thanksgiving: 1 Prepare/Plan ahead…. Preparing a healthy dish ahead of time, can ensure you'll have a nutritious option at the table. Plus, it's a great way to share your commitment to wellness with others. 2 Fill up on veggies and healthier side Dishes, and the Turkey…. Choose lean proteins and veggies to keep your plate balanced. 3 Portion Control… Portioning your plate can help you stay on track without second-guessing yourself. Reach for a smaller plate, or stick to a Sample one helping of things you absolutely must have. 4 Swaps…. Swap an unhealthier side for a more nutritious one. Pair you turkey with carrots, cauliflower mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes or another veggie you prefer. 5 Pause…..Take a moment before digging in & Pause to consider your choices and ask yourself what you really want?! And decide what is actually worth reaching for and how you want to feel. 6 Provide sides you don't love. If there are dishes you're not particularly fond of, bring those! This way, you can fill your plate with healthier options and avoid temptations. 7 Set Small Movement Goals.. At the end of your meal, set a small goal to step outside and take a small walk with your family. This will help to aid in proper digestion after your dinner, help to encourage steps in your day, and allow for extra bonding time with family! ⭐️With these simple tips, you can celebrate Thanksgiving in a way that aligns with your health journey. Embrace the joy of the season and enjoy time with loved ones, all while feeling good about your choices! QUESTION: WHAT TIPS DO YOU USE, (or like to Add or Share) for a “Healthy Thanksgiving” Holiday?!

Cupsgiving 2024: Thank you for sharing 💗

Group Support / by ASilentObserver

19 minutes ago

New Here- Unexpectedly Difficult Day

General Support / by lazyMelon

27 minutes ago

...See more Hi, I hope everyone is doing well tonight. I just started using this app and my day has not been the best and I'd just like to put this down in words. Is gonna be kind of long though,l and it's not much of a story, but here goes... I feel like I've never not struggled with mental health. I haven't been through anything notably awful. It just feel like it's the way my brain work. Like I never got calibrated right. I'm in my thirties. I'm still single. Plenty of relationship, but never married, never engaged, never close. If the breakups weren't because they were just an obviously terrible pick it was my fault. I'm too insecure. I can't control my emotions. I lash out when I'm upset. I know how I need to act, but sometimes I just can't do it. I cry way too much. I can barely keep up with adult things. I met someone who I felt I connected with. Like we just had the same energy. It was very intense. He was so much fun. I could talk about anything with him, and we were always laughing. I felt like he knew me better in a month than my last boyfriend ever did even after 3 years. I'm actually pretty sure he did. We both had things we were struggling with. He's had so much had luck this past year. He ended up moving away, temporarily was the plan. We were gonna end things cause he didn't want to do long distance, but the week before he left he reached out and we agreed we'd stay in touch and work on what we need to work on and come back together. It's only been a week and a half since he's been gone. The uncertainty was causing me so much anxiety, but I really wanted to work on myself and get better and I was trying. He didn't talk to me much the past 3 days. I asked this morning if we could talk today, I just want to catch up and maybe talk about what our expectations were with communication, cause I know he's focusing on himself and I didn't want to be too much. I guess I was though cause he just replied that this wasn't working and we're not compatible. I asked so many questions and made so many my case, but it wasn't a conversation. It hurts so much more now. Like now that he's had a minute away from me to clear his head he realized how bad I am for him. For anyone. There were so many obstacles in such a short amount of time together, but I still felt so hopeful. I am so tired of dating. I like meeting people I like going on dates and trying new places, but my hearts been through too much. It's so fragile and I'm so tired of hurting. I just want my person. Thank you to anyone who read all the way through this very dull novel. Just needed to put this somewhere 💚

Gratitude Circle Activity

Mindfulness Center / by MindfulJourney22

38 minutes ago

...See more Greetings everyone! We invite you to take part in the Gratitude Circle, a mindful activity designed to foster appreciation and strengthen connections within our community. This is a simple yet meaningful way to acknowledge and celebrate the positive impact others have made in our lives. By sharing gratitude and appreciation, we create a supportive and uplifting environment for all. We encourage everyone to participate and spread kindness by taking a moment to express what you’re thankful for. Let’s come together and make this space one of positivity and connection! 1. Take a few moments to quiet your mind and reflect on the people in this community who have made a positive impact on you. It could be through their kind words, helpful Suggestions, or thoughtful actions. 2. In this thread, post a short message of gratitude. Tag the person you're appreciating and explain what you’re thankful for. It could be something they’ve done recently or something they've always done that made a difference. 3. When you share your appreciation, make sure to tag a different person each time you post. This ensures that everyone has the chance to feel valued. 4. After posting, take a moment to breathe deeply and send positive thoughts or intentions to the person you just thanked. ------------------------- Current taglist as of November 17, 2024 To add or remove yourself from the taglist please click [https://www.7cups.com/forum/mindfulness/Announcements_2413/MindfulnessAutomatedTaglist_320002/?post=3438021]here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/mindfulness/Announcements_2413/MindfulnessAutomatedTaglist_320002/?post=3438021] @4551SP @adventurousBranch3786 @Admirablerainbow2825 @adventurousCat7477 @Agent22 @alexandralee @AllAboutThePeace11 @amiablePeace77@asherb281 @avistaco @cal1860 @CaringSub @CatHanderOutNoah @Clio9876 @communicativeJet616 @dapperBeach8823 @daydreammemories @DragonspanAnge @EchoOrAsh @etherealize @Falcon05 @fearlessMaple308 @FloraBelle @ForestZen @frankPark1546 @GentleHealingInitiative @Goldenfox2009 @greenScarf6235 @hardworkingBeechwood6063 @healingsoul4892 @iloveyouxx @imprettysleepy @indigoBeechwood597 @infiniteforever12 @InsightfulPhoenix @Invisibility101 @JarofSeeds627 @jaywalkk @Kickan75 @kindRiver6 @kivesh @Linux2022 @Littlejoy11 @livinggadget @MindfulJourney22 @mytwistedsoul @nessapressure05 @NurseJose @NotAllHere713 @onwardforevenmore @pamharley003 @PeacefulBeach3454 @peacefulDovex @PopPunkPrincess17 @Rainboho @rebeccastgo @sincereGrapefruit83 @sky2Ocean20 @Snowy00 @spongbobishappy @sunshineBeauty5741 @Swordpsalm @tallZebra8032 @Tinywhisper11 @toughApricot223 @warmMemory6263 @willingBranch634 @VKlistening @yellowPineapple3652 @yzzil @Zeraphim

?

Newbie Hub / by NoJudgingNoAdvising

39 minutes ago

Pale Blue Dot

Self-Esteem / by XneedsHelp

46 minutes ago

...See more Over the last few months I have learned so much about life, people and my interaction with them, and myself. I am learning with practice, that my life is the only thing I can control. Hurt, pain, suffering, joy, happiness, and being content comes with living. Yes, I am in pain. Yes, I’m hurting. And yes, I am suffering….yet, I am still alive. I am still breathing. And I I have learned and still learning. I have to…no, I must find the joy within myself about what I have and be grateful. To up that joy to happiness; to be content with the moment at hand. I can’t control what happens tomorrow, just how I can “take” or react to what happens tomorrow. Some things are so small in the great meaning of life that most of us don’t understand, won’t understand. I know it seems that we can “control”, but what really IS “control”? Can barely control a video game because there is a chance of a glitch, just for example sake. Things we sometimes worry about are so insignificant that it shouldn’t be on our personal radars, respectfully. We worry about the small things so much, that when the “big” problems rear their ugly heads, we explode. The more we understand ourselves and that “control” really doesn’t exist, that it’s a perspective more so an action, the more we feel that we are the small thing. That we cannot spend our average of, GOD willing, 75 years on this Earth worried about the small things. Yes I am DEFINITELY HUMAN and feel the same way most of us do; stressed, hurt, pained, battling suffrage, crazed, “uncontrolled”; just to name a few emotional wars within ourselves, however, we must fight through the “evil” negativity that we perceive “controls” us. We must learn that on this planet, we are NOT alone and many of our “triggers” to our emotions are as small as we really are. I’m happy and grateful for all of you who read each others posts, and share JOY to get each other through. LIFE IS PRECIOUS! Life is delicate, but all our lives are small compared to where and who we are in this universe. I thank you if you’ve read this post, I hope it helps you at least a little, and stay strong!!!💪🏽😣😞😑🙂🤙🏽

Talk to an expert therapist

Sarah Robb is an LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker Supervisor) and an...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Don’t miss a message!

The 7 Cups app is available on iOS and Android

Talk to an expert therapist

Sarah Robb is an LISW-S (Licensed Independent Social Worker Supervisor) and an...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Personal Conversation Requests

General Conversation Requests

New Messages