Common Cognitive Distortions

Cognitive distortions are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isnt really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.

For instance, a person might tell themselves, I always fail when I try to do something new; I therefore fail at everything I try. This is an example of black or white (or polarized) thinking. The person is only seeing things in absolutes — that if they fail at one thing, they must fail at allthings. If they added, I must be a complete loser and failure to their thinking, that would also be an example of overgeneralization — taking a failure at one specific task and generalizing it their very self and identity.

By learning to correctly identify this kind of stinkin thinkin, a person can then answer the negative thinking back, and refute it. By refuting the negative thinking over and over again, it will slowly diminish overtime and be automatically replaced by more rational, balanced thinking.

With practice, you can learn to answer each of these cognitive distortions.

1. Filtering.

We take the negative details and magnify them while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation. For instance, a person may pick out a single, unpleasant detail and dwell on it exclusively so that their vision of reality becomes darkened or distorted.

2. Polarized Thinking (or Black and White Thinking).

In polarized thinking, things are either black-or-white. We have to be perfect or were a failure — there is no middle ground. You place people or situations in either/or categories, with no shades of gray or allowing for the complexity of most people and situations. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

3. Overgeneralization.

In this cognitive distortion, we come to a general conclusion based on a single incident or a single piece of evidence. If something bad happens only once, we expect it to happen over and over again. A person may see a single, unpleasant event as part of a never-ending pattern of defeat.

4. Jumping to Conclusions.

Without individuals saying so, we know what they are feeling and why they act the way they do. In particular, we are able to determine how people are feeling toward us.

For example, a person may conclude that someone is reacting negatively toward them but doesnt actually bother to find out if they are correct. Another example is a person may anticipate that things will turn out badly, and will feel convinced that their prediction is already an established fact.

5. Catastrophizing.

We expect disaster to strike, no matter what. This is also referred to as magnifying or minimizing. We hear about a problem and use what if questions (e.g., What if tragedy strikes? What if it happens to me?).

For example, a person might exaggerate the importance of insignificant events (such as their mistake, or someone elses achievement). Or they may inappropriately shrink the magnitude of significant events until they appear tiny (for example, a persons own desirable qualities or someone elses imperfections).

6. Personalization.

Personalization is a distortion where a person believes that everything others do or say is some kind of direct, personal reaction to the person. We also compare ourselves to others trying to determine who is smarter, better looking, etc.

A person engaging in personalization may also see themselves as the cause of some unhealthy external event that they were not responsible for. For example, We were late to the dinner party and caused the hostess to overcook the meal. If I had only pushed my husband to leave on time, this wouldnt have happened.

7. Control Fallacies.

If we feel externally controlled, we see ourselves as helpless a victim of fate. For example, I cant help it if the quality of the work is poor, my boss demanded I work overtime on it. The fallacy of internal control has us assuming responsibility for the pain and happiness of everyone around us. For example, Why arent you happy? Is it because of something I did?

8. Fallacy of Fairness.

We feel resentful because we think we know what is fair, but other people wont agree with us. As our parents tell us when were growing up and something doesnt go our way, Life isnt always fair. People who go through life applying a measuring ruler against every situation judging its fairness will often feel badly and negative because of it. Because life isnt fair — things will not always work out in your favor, even when you think they should.

9. Blaming.

We hold other people responsible for our pain, or take the other track and blame ourselves for every problem. For example, Stop making me feel bad about myself! Nobody can make us feel any particular way — only we have control over our own emotions and emotional reactions.

10. Shoulds.

We have a list of ironclad rules about how others and we should behave. People who break the rules make us angry, and we feel guilty when we violate these rules. A person may often believe they are trying to motivate themselves with shoulds and shouldnts, as if they have to be punished before they can do anything.

For example, I really should exercise. I shouldnt be so lazy. Musts and oughtsare also offenders. The emotional consequence is guilt. When a person directs should statements toward others, they often feel anger, frustration and resentment.

11. Emotional Reasoning.

We believe that what we feel must be true automatically. If we feel stupid and boring, then we must be stupid and boring. You assume that your unhealthy emotions reflect he way things really are — I feel it, therefore it must be true.

12. Fallacy of Change.

We expect that other people will change to suit us if we just pressure or cajole them enough. We need to change people because our hopes for happiness seem to depend entirely on them.

13. Global Labeling.

We generalize one or two qualities into a negative global judgment. These are extreme forms of generalizing, and are also referred to as labeling and mislabeling. Instead of describing an error in context of a specific situation, a person will attach an unhealthy label to themselves.

For example, they may say, Im a loser in a situation where they failed at a specific task. When someone elses behavior rubs a person the wrong way, they may attach an unhealthy label to him, such as Hes a real jerk. Mislabeling involves describing an event with language that is highly colored and emotionally loaded. For example, instead of saying someone drops her children off at daycare every day, a person who is mislabeling might say that she abandons her children to strangers.

14. Always Being Right.

We are continually on trial to prove that our opinions and actions are correct. Being wrong is unthinkable and we will go to any length to demonstrate our rightness. For example, I dont care how badly arguing with me makes you feel, Im going to win this argument no matter what because Im right. Being right often is more important than the feelings of others around a person who engages in this cognitive distortion, even loved ones.

15. Heavens Reward Fallacy.

We expect our sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if someone is keeping score. We feel bitter when the reward doesnt come.