Ways to Get Along with Friends Who Disagree
"In this charged post-election world, challenging our beliefs, fostering empathy for others, and opening ourselves to the possibility of finding common ground with those with opposing viewpoints is crucial.
Especially during this holiday season when family and friends come together, getting along with those who have deep political or otherwise different beliefs may seem like an impossible challenge, but it is possible. Here are a few simple ways you can work toward keeping and growing your relationships with people with whom you disagree.
Strategies for open, empathic, and mutual communication include:
- Use my Empathic Process. The Empathic Process is a conversation that must happen in person – not online. Meet a friend in a mutual environment, not an office which is a place of power, nor a bedroom where sleep and sexuality occur. Divide your time into thirds, giving each person ample time to express their feelings while the other listens actively and making eye contact. The last third of the time, you both speak mutually together, investing each of you in a collaborative conversation with the goal of problem solving. Ultimately something new and transcendent will evolve that best represents the ideas of both.
- Recognize your own projections. If there is a charge to your position, then it is often a projection. Remember, the pointing finger has three fingers pointing back…to you. It is essential to recognize and acknowledge your projection. Then you can separate yourself from them, taking a good hard look and bringing them on home. By integrating your projections back into your psyche, you will no longer be compelled to act them out.
- Describe your emotions. Describe your emotions so that your partner, friend, or relative can feel how you feel. Use descriptive language, for example, “when you say (this), I feel like my stomach is sinking, the way it does when an elevator drops.” Explain your viewpoint by explaining yourself. Remind your friend that by knowing your history, they can better understand where you are coming from, your behavior, and your ideas. Affirm their perspective by asking them to explain how they feel and then how they got to their decision.
- Don’t overreact. Be thoughtful and skillful; ask your friend for feedback. A heated emotional discourse can often disguise what’s really going on and what you think.
- Remember your friendship. Focus on the fact that the person you’re communicating with is valuable to you, that they are important, and that you care how they feel. Friendship requires commitment, obligation, and responsibility. Using my Empathic Process for communication, you can help reintegrate not only your patterns of behavior and projected material but also that of your partner. In this way, you can repair yourself and your friendship through mutual respect and value for their opinions, ideas, and points of view."
*Our world can be so divided at the moment and we may not always agree with our loved ones on everything, but that's okay and totally normal! The world would be very boring if we were all the same person. Sometimes there will be difficult conversations, but there are ways to have these conversations and be respectful simultaneously. Understanding that the person you are talking to cares about you and that you care about them is important. You have that foundation that shows you are stronger than these differences. My philosophy is that everyone is entitled to their own opinions, as long as they aren't hurting others or pushing their beliefs onto others. We all have free will and are allowed to make our own decisions. How do you agree to disagree with your friends and family?*
#Disagreements #Beliefs #Understanding
Please find the full article at Thrive Global.
As always, Treat People With Kindness!
@fruityPond7887
Quite profound and practical tips, thankyou for sharing, Pond.
I agree with your reflection also, everyone is indeed entitled to their own opinions and so long there's no hurt involved, it's okay for people to have their own set of beliefs. Indeed, kindness and understanding are so important while communicating with anyone at all. Plus having an open mind to actually welcome any discussion, some people are sometimes too closed off and have already formed their judgement that they don't even try to see things from another's side, which I feel can be really hard to get around with.
At such times though, agreeing to disagree would be the way to go hehe.
I'm not very confrontational and I absolutely would refrain from any conflicts xD
I value my peace of mind a little too much, so I can sometimes even agree to a "2+2=5" to simply end a conversation that's not going anywhere, in case someone is too persistent on "being right". XD like "sure, you're right, It's 5, and now let's not see each other for atleast 5 years" 😂😂
It probably isn't the best approach at times, I know hehe, because I truly admire those who are able to express themself really well and hold their ground firm, especially during difficult conversations. But yes lol, simply cannot deal with a certain kind of toxicity, so I'm more of a "you do you" or a "live and let live" kinda person, and I'm happy this way lol!💛
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Lol Sun "now let's not see each other for 5 years" made me chuckle 😂 But yes I can respect that trying to keep your inner peace because it's so important to make sure we are good and happy! Those who matter in your life, regardless of opinion, will stay with you and those are the people that matter. I hope you have wonderful people in your life that love you for you and not any opinions that don't matter in the long run. What matters is love and time spent with good people!! Thank you for your wonderful reply!
@fruityPond7887 I know right?! Haha!😆
Aww thank youuu, and yes exactly that is all that really matters. ❤