Community

I'm so hopeless, I don't know what to do

General Support / by Zae1

1 minute ago

...See more Hi everyone, I hope you're all doing well, anyone reading this. It's my first post here so I'm a little anxious. I would like to share a little of how I feel. I won't share much of my personal information, but I am a girl. I'm in my second semester of college, and so far I'm doing very well. The thing is, about 5 years ago I started to develop low self-esteem. But it's something I was able to control. But over time, everything got worse. I looked for support from my friends and other people and those things. Everything was going well. But about 4-5 months ago I started to suffer from something similar to anhedonia. My life has always been one of constant stress because of the fear of disappointing my parents with my grades. I developed gastritis at an early age.Well, getting back to the topic of my supposed anhedonia, I feel weird. I'm being honest. I feel bad and very weird.Before, (I mean about a year),I was a very compassionate and emotional person. I spent a lot of time playing my favorite video games and characters, enjoying my hobbies and spending time with my friends. A lot.I have always been a good student, daughter, and daugther. I was passionate about mysterious things and magical, medieval vibes.I had a talent. Yes, I did. I loved drawing since I was little. I have an art account on ***, but I haven't posted anything there for a month.I feel hopeless. For a couple of years now I guess I really was suffering from depression. Nothing matters to me. I stopped talking to many friends. I have a void in my chest. I can't cry the way I'd like to. I've never been completely happy for long in my life. I'm always going from here to there. I've always felt like I'm weird. I'm not happy with myself. The last few months have been about getting through my day to day life. I have a music playlist. I loved that music and it made me feel things and feel good, wanting to fight for my passions. But now I don't feel anything. I listen to them and I don't feel anything. I've been looking into this a lot and I think it's "emotional burnout". But I'm not interested. I don't want to go outside. I miss how I used to feel. With my tastes and my passions and the things I loved. I used to have a lot of projects with my art and stuff like that. I've tried to convince myself that I'm supposed to grow up. But adults are also happy and feel things, right? I guess I've ruined my life with my pessimism. I'll never feel anything again, I think.All my pleasures for which I fought three years are not worth it.I have been looking for new interests in case you are wondering. Yes, this year I discovered a sport that I love and that did not affect my other interests. But now I no longer feel that spark when I watch my favorite sports. I can't really talk to my parents for help right now because they are in a difficult situation with their jobs. And I can't get a therapist at the moment... I miss my video games, talking to my friends, enjoying my art and my favorite characters.I miss my emotions. I miss being sentimental.. I miss everything. And I blame myself every day.. it's hard to cope with all this.. for all these years.. All these four years of holding on and thinking that the next day will be better. All those nights I cried because I wished I wasn't here.All these years doubting everything. I've been miserable.I'm the oldest sister, so I don't want my little brother to go through what I've been going through. My chest hurts. I feel lost. I feel bad.I don't care about myself. I miss everything. That's all.I don't feel well enough to give more details. I'm sorry if you read all this and thank you for reading it. Thank you for your patience and your valuable time.I would appreciate if anyone could leave a comment if they could. Just wanted to share this. Thanks and have a nice day.

When someone without anxiety says…

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Positivity & Gratitude / by exuberantBlackberry9105

1 hour ago

...See more hey everyone, i'm creating this space for myself to come to every day, hopefully, and share my good moments. ✨ when i say 'good moment', it doesn't mean i have to feel happy or anything. it could be anything that made me feel a tiny bit better or something that made me feel good for a little bit. it could even be something that happened that's supposed to be good, even if it didn't change how i feel. or if i'm having a particularly bad day, a good moment could be a moment when i just didn't feel that horrific. and of course, it could be a moment when i just somehow magically feel fine for a bit, with no apparent cause. magic, lol. 🪄 i've recently realised that thinking of good moments makes every day feel a tiny bit different, instead of every day feeling the same and having that school, homework, exam, eat, sleep, repeat cycle going on. when i'm depressed and have been for months on end, it's really easy to just see that and forget the good that does occasionally come. perhaps after a while of posting on this thread, i might even be able to go back and read previous good moments when i'm feeling awful. i know that every time i try to feel better and actually get to feeling better, it eventually comes crashing down soon and i feel bad again. but i guess i'll try to feel better anyway by focusing on the good moments. and when i do get to feeling better, i want to make the best of it and use it to get work done, so that the times when it gets bad again don't affect my schoolwork too much. i will really try to come here every day and post something, even if it's very small and seems insignificant, even if i feel like i didn't have anything good happen that day. and if i ever have a miracle day when i have a lot of good moments, i'll try my best to list them all out for me to read on the awful days that follow (somehow my really good days are always followed by some really bad ones, and it sucks). if i ever miss a day of posting, i will try to post that day's good moments the next day. i know that sometimes i will need to mention the bad stuff too here, to be able to explain why something was a good moment, but in general, i will try my best to avoid talking too much about the bad on this thread. thank you, @bestVase7265, for encouraging me to write down my good moments. this idea of yours has been of a lot of help to me. i hope it works well with this thread for posting good moments. feel free to follow along and read whatever good i find every day, and share yours too (only if you'd like to, of course. you can always just stick to our space if you wish). 🤍🤍 anyone else reading this is welcome to share their good moments as well, i'd love to hear them. wishing you all the best. 💙

Share a favourite memory and be grateful :)

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20 & Over Community / by AutumnHarvest

2 hours ago

...See more Hi, I'm a 24f and I just graduated university in May and have been living with my parents looking for apartments in a new city. I'm am lucky to have some privileges as a white, middle class girl and I am incredibly thankful for that. But I'm also incredibly saddened by the state of the world constantly, be it the environmental state, the economic state, and all the other isms, and systems of oppression. To take a moment to be a little selfish, I'm seeing it heavily as I try to find an apartment in the city. I am feeling sad and hopeless as I look because it feels like my standards are way too high - but to me, they feel like basic things that people should have - like a stove, enough space to have more than just a bed and desk, and a little natural light for my plants. But as I look, I'm coming across many places outside of my budget that lack even these basic things. I understand your 20s are about "roughing it" but, with the state of the world, the increasing basic living costs and the fact that the future is completely uncertain due to climate change and capitalism - I'm finding it incredibly hard to feel like I'll even be able to live the way I want in the future. It doesn't help that I'm constantly told by my parents and other generations that they paid for their entire education themselves or had to work 3 jobs to afford a house, etc. I know there really isn't any solutions to this problem and will have to lower my standards for housing and living, but after working so hard in high school and university and being promised I'm working towards something - I'm burnt out and it feels like I'm not gaining any of the rewards of my hard work. Maybe I've just thrown myself a huge pity party, but thank you for listening none the less. For others who struggle with these feelings as well, what do you do to give yourself more hope and stop feeling like everything sucks? Thank you for listening.

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