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Friendship

Tangodream January 11th

I find it incredibly hard to make in person friendships, I always have. Now that I'm in my late 50s, struggling with health and money issues, I feel so isolated and alone. I work as a pet sitter, so I lack human interaction there. My family has drifted apart, I'm not close to my siblings anymore and repairing the relationships with them isn't in the cards. My younger sister broke off contact with me and my older brother and I just don't have much in common, I had a best friend, but she got into some very extreme political views that I couldn't reconcile with. I have my spouse, but that isn't enough,


How do you all make friends? Once you do, how do you maintain a healthy relationship with your friends? If nothing else, how do you make at least a friend online to check in with, just to make sure everything is okay? So many websites are full of scammers or people looking for online sex.

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toughTiger6481 January 12th

@Tangodream

It seems harder then ever to make friends for almost everyone. being a pet sitter if you walk dogs while taking care of them it is a good way to talk with others out and about ( if dog is friendly) i met several people at a dog park. 

i too have zero contact with siblings we just took very different paths in life and have nothing to make us close... no a spouse is not enough in my opinion.   meeting someone online also can be weird as for example on different sites had people want to talk but then got weird about things.   There are a few out there but you have to wade through people who want you to give them contact info etc and feel pushy and scammer like. 

do you have any hobbies or things you can do group things using meet up app ..... i also used ways to contact previous friends and found some who like me had few friends and we catch up every so often not great but better then being alone.  

Amelia763 January 12th

@Tangodream I'm 60-something and isolated. I'm divorced and my longtime furry companion died in December. 🐱 I visit my adult kids from time to time. I used to go to church regularly, but I have encountered so many narcissists or codependents desperate to help or fix me, and also judgemental types giving me disapproving stares that I find it hard to motivate myself to attend. That was where most of my socializing was happening. Lately I live online. I have several social media accounts. I go from one to another, or I watch videos or play online games. I only go out to shop or visit my kids who have their own lives. 

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Tangodream OP January 12th

Well. I'm always willing to chat. I'm not looking for anything outside of support and normal conversation.

1 reply
Amelia763 January 13th

@Tangodream Same here. Just looking to have normal conversations. 

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Tmcl January 27th

@Amelia763

im in the same boat. I feel your pain. It’s so lonely. My Mom passed a few weeks ago, I’m a widow with grown sons, I had one of my dogs die from cancer last year and now my other dog is seriously ill. I just want to crawl in a hole. 

2 replies
Amelia763 January 27th

@Tmcl I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. Lots of losses. I have adult kids, but I don't see them often. I will say a prayer for your sick doggy.

Tangodream OP January 29th

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my Mom in 2005, it was and still can be difficult to deal with. I'm sorry about your dogs too.

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Tmcl January 27th

@Amelia763

I feel your pain. I’m a widow with grown children, my Mom just died, she was my rock. It’s so lonely. I lost one of my furbabies to cancer last year and now my other 11 year old furbaby is seriously ill. I just want to crawl in a hole. 

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GoingInCircles365 January 13th

I agree, it's always hard enough to make friends, but when everyone has such separated and busy and isolated lives, it's nearly impossible to meet people who might possibly have the chance to become friends. 

I go for daily walks and see regular people on my route. Over the years, I've become friends with a couple of them.

Otherwise, as others have suggested, if there are any sorts of classes or groups that might interest you, it's a possibly opportunity to meet people. 

If you're an introvert, like me, there are still classes, workshops, etc that might interest you. Pottery class, pickleball, library events, cooking class, probably lots of interesting things going on if you live in or hear a town or city. Even just being around people can sometimes open the door to connecting with someone. Just a thought. 

Otherwise, I totally agree with you, it's really hard to make new friends.


1 reply
GoingInCircles365 January 13th

@GoingInCircles365

I just wanted to add, that not all activities cost money. I'm also in a larger city, and there are lots of free things to do around here. The local parks and recreation department offers a lot of incredibly low-cost events and outings.

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shyCat542 January 21st

I have enjoyed reading these posts. How do I stay in touch ?

shyCat542 January 21st

Hi tag. I’m a 69 yr old female. I don’t have any friends. Idk if I will find you again. Take care. You are not alone.

GracefulFaith7777 January 29th

@Tangodream, sorry to hear, but understand all to well.  Sometimes there is no spouse, so you are blessed.  Online is very difficult, but truly caring people are out there, just have to keep trying.  Wish you the best.

janey1111 February 9th

i agree with what everyone is saying here. i am unmarried and childless and without family. it can be very hard to connect with people online due to scammers and such. i come here from time to time and i am open to real conversations and chat if anyone is interested.