disfunctional family problems

I am new to this, but am really seeking a place to relate to people with similar problems maybe.. I have a father who is handicapped. he is paraliyzed from the waiste down.. My mother is his care giver and she is really into herself and she is the only one who matters. she was adimtted to the hospital recently and so with her house being so nasty ( she is a hoarder ) I moved my father in with me and my husband.. set up a hospital bed in our living room..

first thing we did was bath him and take his support socks off that hadnt been removed for close to a year. She never bathed him. she made him wash himself but everyone who is sane knows he is unable to reach places. so he hadnt had a real good bed barth since I did it two years ago. He didnt have a family dr, so we got him one. He had cancer on his ear and we got a dr for that. we bathed him every day we took his socks off every day and I cooked for him making sure he had a big breakfast and supper... she told everyone I was spoiling him. any way I had to take leave from my job to care for him.. My husband also helped me. any way my husband lost it with my dad because he was so unthankful and he felt I was being used.. I have a sister and brother and neither wanted to care for dad. My sister took it upon herself to clean moms house.. they filled a dumpster twice. I stayed out of that because I knew my mother was going to have a fit.. anyway my dad told my mother we were abusing him because my husband had raised his voice to him. My dad tried to run our house and that didnt fly. so he is telling people we are abusing him.. mom is into herself and my husband and I really thought the best thing for my father would be to go into the nurcing home with my mother. they could share a room.. My sister said over her dead body would my dad go in a nurcing home but she wouldnt take care of him. and dad wouldnt go..Long story short me and my husband have become the bad guys... mom tells everyone we abused dad, and that I was a horrible daughter. I took food over when she came home from the hospital and tried to be a help. but when my birthday came she wouldnt even call me. I blew up whats a phone call. now we are not talking since november. but my aunt and I talk and yesterday she told me mom and dad in the wheel chair and all of a suddon his head tilted to the side and his eyes rolled back in his head and he started drulling. she didnt even call an ambulance. He came out of it and she on her own with my sisters input decided that it was his blood preasure meds that made him do this and she took him off them... she never consulted a dr oh and on top of that he had a preasure sore that she was doctoring... instead of him going to a real dr... she does this because she can make him stay in bed so she doesnt have to mess with him... he stays in bed alot because she tells him he has a sore. Me and my sister have gotten into it and I blocked her on my phone and she told me i was nolonger her sister...

I am worrying about my father but cant do anything and I am afraid she is trying to kill him or in the least neglecting him.. I am just sick. I do take mental health meds, she abused me growing up. she has always thought I was only good enough to order around and do her bidding. never told me she loved me... always yelled at me. and I had to cook mow and go with dad to lift his wheel chair into the car at age 11. so I guess I keep thinking of some of the stuff she did to me when I was young... example I loved animals.. and she was a cat hoarder.. one time she took a box of kittens and through them in our burn barrel they were still alive too. that was just one example of her crueltey. so recently we were talking about what happens when one ot them die and I have to go to the funeral home.. I know my mom and my sister will make a big schene and it will be ugly. what do I do......thanks and sorry for this being so long