PERCEPTIONS DO CHANGE OUR LIVES

HOPE IS REAL

&

WE CAN HEAL

I was looking back to a poem i wrote a few months ago when i had almost given up, and then something I wrote this week after finally getting the help I so desperately needed.

I wanted to post these two things I wrote to help anybody that is feeling hopeless; so you know hope is real and healing does happen once we take the right steps.

BEFORE POEM (3months ago)

Percieving what we believe in is decieving and has no meaning as life's mistreating dishes out this beating leaving us bleeding.
But we can't see it if we close our minds and we cant think about this when we're blind, so walk away and you will find, a freind here waiting for a sign!
SO OPEN YOU'RE EYES!
So take your time and organise what's on your mind and you'll find you're not really so behind, so relax your eyes and realize you're fine just the way you are. And you can reach for the stars, put cream on the scars and healing transpires.
The delusional parts only confuse our goals and corrupt our souls leaving us with a heart full of holes. Set goals now and your mind will see what closed eyes have failed to believe, don't let sight deceive keeping us on our knees; throwing logic into the breeze.
Winds at your back excited, Winds of hope reignited me. Step by step confide so we can share secrets of life; Thinking "what could be" If we let it, if you hold back you'll regret it.
There, Now I've gone and said it!
We hold ourselves down; Dirty on the ground!
I've found myself tourmented and bound by invisibility. I've ignorged all possibility, so I must set myself free of a self-inflicted confined mystery that causes so much mind-bending mysery!

AFTER (written last week)

I think its impossible for anybody to understand what we attempt to describing about how we suffer unless or until it happens to them. That is why; we who suffer are quite good at helping each other. The confusion is an illusion, but we percieve this as all to real. Ive suffered anxiety for 2 years and i was begining to give up. That 2 years of suffering finally convinced me that my ways just were not going to work. Although i had very major trust issues, I finally had to come to the realization that id be doomed if i stubbornly kept trying to figure myself out. I finally recently made a real pysciatrist appointment, and i told here as much as i could about how ive.been suffering and about my sh idiation. I finally had to give this problem to her and let her tell me what to do.
Im so glad that i finally aggreed to get real help, and to give trusting somebody a try. Ive decided not to research my meds and find reasons not to try them. Im not going to keep getting in my own way. Ive been on prozac and buspar for a month and although idiation got worse for a week, Now i feel free of that tourmented feeling. I have good moments of calm now, and am noticing my ways of thinking are more constructive, and not as self-defeating. Yes my freind, it can get better, and it will: But you must lower your gaurds, and humbly go ask for help and be honest with yourself. Calmly take a step to make an appointment. Then except the meds they reccomend, and as your med levels begin to balance you out, you will feel a sence of calm and start to notice little pleasent ways you begine to evolve the ways you think, and percieve.
I had all but given up but i had a theory;
When in doubt, i dont😊
Just knowing i can sit through the paranoia and it will pass began to give me confidence. The same with anxiety even the worst of them. But now im about a full week without anxiety, without ideation, and have a new sence of hope; which is empowering.
Blessings.