Being alone
I’m in my mid 50 and I recently ended an abusive relationship. Now I have two fears; 1. That I’ll end up with another abusive partner. 2. That I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. Most of the time I’m pretty self reliant and I have old children who help out plenty but I like having a partner. I like having someone to go out with or to just laze around with, even chores are easier with a partner. Life is nicer shared (in my opinion). So how on earth do you meet people? Everyone just assumes you have a partner by my age.
I was in an emotionally and psychologically abusive marriage for 7 years; divorced 24 now. He never hit me. I have dated, a couple of long term relationships, but never remarried. The “Scars” fade with time, but I still don’t trust my own instincts trusting people. It does get easier. you sound like a strong person, and I doubt you will allow yourself to be in another abusive situation. Know you are valued, and I’m grateful that you got out.
Thank you and hugs for you.
I wish I could give you advice! I am definitely disconnected from people, so I can understand what you are likely feeling. I hear your story, and will be hoping that good changes and solutions come your way :)
@blueKitten5708
Online dating is your new way to meet, at least until everyone's been vaccinated and meeting in person is safe again.
I rejoined a dating site and found a lot of eligible men in my age range, some within my own small city. The pandemic is actually a great filter: since meeting in person is off the table, you get to correspond via messages or email so you can learn about each other in a safe environment. Are there jerks and a-holes there? Sure, just like everywhere, but you can block and report the worst offenders and move on to the next.
Depending on your interests and hobbies, there may be loads of potential partners out there and again, since gatherings aren't a thing yet, you can interact virtually and meet new people who like the same stuff you do. Even if your next partner isn't among them, you'll find fun folks and make new friends.
As always, stay safe on line, don't give out your full name or other identifying information, use a burner email if you're concerned about cyber stalking, and don't post pics that you use elsewhere in case someone icky does a reverse image search.
Dating in pandemic times is a unique opportunity and I like not feeling rushed into an in-person meet before I know a lot about someone new. I hope that works for you, too/
(edited by LoveMyRotty)
We don’t have community covid here so we are living life as usual, just not travelling outside of the country. I just joined a site which seems like a comfortable place to start as women have to make the first move. It’s not as physically focused (hunting for polite words) as say another site. Ooh I wouldn’t have thought of the reverse image hunt. Thanks for that tip.
(edited by LoveMyRotty)
I am new here. I am in the same boat as you. I am on an online dating site but really use it just to talk to men. I dont really want to go out due to covid and am not sure I can do a relationship. I'm just not sure
There’s nothing wrong with just chatting and waiting until you feel ready to date. Perhaps someone will simply intrigue you enough that you want to meet them.
I had the same experience twice. So you can imaging how ashamed I felt. I am learning to love myself, working a lot in self esteem and not be desperate to be with someone. It has been really hard but now I am doing fine and more than that I am in peace. Try to work on you personal growth
Thanks and hugs. I’ve joined a few Meet Up groups and begun playing Pétanque, I’ve been on a couple of dates and I’m going very slowly while rebuilding my self worth. I’ve been putting more time into my art and doing things with friends. I’ve been working on reminding myself that I’m an intelligent, artistic and caring person.
You are doing great, it takes time but what matter is how we use this time
You are all very encouraging! I am also in my mid 50s. Have not dated-at all-since threw abusive ex out of house and divorced him in 2014! Part of that was myself and daughter needed to heal from abusive relationship and I needed to divorce him! And focus on her. Now I think about maybe dating but worry same as all of you about choices-making the wrong ones.
I’m 60 and separated from an emotionally and verbally ex 9 months ago. We were married 21 years. Now I’m living in a state I hate, totally isolated from friends and family (I got a job here during the pandemic and needed the benefits so I came. Have been looking for a new job since but I’m 60 and finding it hard.). I’m not even sure I want a new romantic partner. I would like a friend to go have dinner with or have drinks with or just hang with. I tried some of the online dating apps but without much luck. I have good days and bad. Today is a bad one. Any ideas are always welcome. As the Eagles song says, “never thought you’d be alone, this far down the line”