Loner

I am new to this site and I am experiencing some depression. I think it mostly comes from past trauma, and I am not in a solid relationship, even though my bf lives here with me, I feel like we are just roomies. I also suffer with a disability that is not easily seen but causes me pain and low self esteem. On top of that I feel I suffer with pmdd and I am not doing well with it at this time. Currently I am laying in my bed with my door locked because I don't want to see my bf when he gets back from the bar. I think I am going to break up with him today and I just am having a rough early morning. Thank you for taking the time to read