extreme lonely, i need friend
I'm 34 and living with my uncle and aunt. My parents divorced when i was 6, my mother died when i was 17 and i don't know where is my father and honestly I don't care because he never contacts me, he doesn't care if I'm alive. I know for a fact that he has a facebook profile and he blocked me there for no reason. I have no friends, no partner and no work. My best friend left me because I was too honest with him. I told him every time when something was bothering me about him or if he does something i don''t like and he said i was nagging and complaining all the time. He forgot every good thing i did for him and he said to everyone some bad things about me. I feel so lonely and like nobody understands me
@iggy1403
I know how it feels. Dont worry, you have a friend now.
@bubblyPanda865
thanks for the support, you lost a friend too or you just say this to make me feel better?
Hi iggy1403. I am sorry to hear your story. I can sort of relate to you as I am currently living with my uncle and aunt. I am new here and I too have no friends. My situation is a huge mess... As ashamed as I am to admit it... I am very depressed... I have never talked about my problems to anyone and I am not sure what this platform is even like... I just joined... and saw ur post here... n thought maybe I cud help u feel a little better... even though I can’t help myself out of the crappy situation I am in.
@dream2021
Sometimes is easier to open up to a stranger than to a someone you know. If you want to talk about your story and your situation I will listen.
@iggy1403 thanks. I will take that. I think I am getting there. ..
Hi Iggy. 34 is a nice age, so many great things you can do and experience. Would be nice to know how your mind works 🧐 but let me attempt to break things down for you (and sorry if you don't find some of them pleasant). First, I guess you understand that your parents' divorce (especially if it wasn't a calm one) didn't help much your upbringing and your mind developed in a way different to that of a happy kid with both parents caring for him. Still, it's ok, it happens a lot and people do cope with the consequences. Then the traumatic event of your mother dying when your psychi was vulnerable and immature at 17 - didn't help at all. Both events weren't your fault, but just a big misfortune. To tell you more, your dad's poor attitude isn't your fault either and partially not even his. What you wrote about him says that his upbringing wasn't great either, his brain/mind don't function in a healthy fatherly way. He sounds like a damaged person. And it's not your job to analyze his behaviour and try and fix his psychi. Have some forgiveness instead. Your dad's brain is wired the way his parents and environment raised him, he can do just as much, which in his case is nothing. Now think about your friend. First, he is not a flawless person either. No one is and you should not expect people being forever there for you. Second, he is the only mate - that's a trouble. People want good emotions from friendship, and if you keep saying negative things, they leave regardless who is right. Because he is not your parent or relative or psychotherapist and is not obliged to satisfy your demands. The amount of positive emotions you bring to your friends (and they bring to you) should always be much bigger than negative ones. Maybe he just didn't match your personality and you just need to find friends who would. And not ONLY one friend. Aim for a dozen. Your friend forgot good things simply because on his inner scales the bad things you told him outweighed the good ones.. and your relationship became poisonous for him. You need to understand that we are all imperfect humans wanting appreciation, warmth, respect and easy and positive relationship. As soon as you start giving that to people around you, you'll become magnet for friends, girlfriends and good job. Simple as that. No complaints, nagging or phrases like: 'no one understands me' would draw mentally healthy adequate people to you.. unless they are psychotherapists. You would have to change the way you think and talk to get the life you want. Take responsibilities and say goodbye to that troubled 17 years old teenager inside you and give way to the 34 years old adult man.
Hi! Youre not alone! Lets talk
Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 40 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??
@iggy1403 Wow, I can relate to things you said. It sounds like you've experienced some negative events and things, and I am sorry to hear :( My mom died when I was in my 20s and I miss her every day, grief is so painful! I too have (hardly) any friends (one friend I have there's stress there...) and no partner and no work too. I feel depressed at times, it is not easy at all. But know you're not alone and you deserve happiness. It's been a while since you posted here, how are you doing lately?
hey please reach out to your friend, apologize and try to change. Forgive him for what he has said about you and ask him to forgive. When he does, please do not complain unless whatever he does is causing you harm or pain. Do this only if he is worth it though!!
