Stuck in an imaginary relationship
Although my (not small) experience with relationships, I find myself in this stupid situation where I'm cluthced in this enormous need of communication with a specific man. We are both in serious relationships. We've met 4 months ago and he was the one who started showing a lot of attention towards me. We are both artists and he repeatedly asked me to make some small projects with him. And he was very persistent. He showed me multiple times that he likes me in a special way. It made me uncomfortable at first, but later I realized how much in common we have and how differently he's treating me than the person next to me.
If you are an artist, you will know how rare is to find someone with whom you can create in the same way, someone who understands you without words, someone who inspires you to creat when you've been indifferent to art in years. And all of you know how rare is to find someone who sees life like you do, someone who feels like a friend from the first moment you've met. Someone that can teach you, when you were always like a mother for your 5 years older boyfriend.
So I'm stucked. I don't feel the butterflies in my stomach and I want cross my moral standarts, but I desperately need to talk to this person. I have a big, big, big lack of proper communication with my boyfriend, I've had it for many years. And this new man is super busy working, so he just doesn't have the time to talk with me.
So, even if that he's still showing this special interest in me, he ignores almost every try I make to start a deep conversation. And I'm so exhausted, I feel so small. I will appreciate some advices how to manage this :( Thank you!
@phannko
Having an artistic soul myself I can relate and understand many of the things you said. I really get how finding someone who becomes a source of inspiration is rare and precious.
However, I wonder if you might perhaps be kind of idealizing this person? You say you lack communication with your partner, and that this man treats you in a very different way. But at the same time he is also very busy, doesnt have the time to talk with you and ignores you when you try to have a deep conversation with him...
Which qualities do you see in him that are inspiring you so much artistically? Can you perhaps try and imagine that these very same qualities are actually also within yourself?
On a different note: @ilaughAlot2 is right about the fact that a thread cannot be posted several times. Have you posted this somewhere else? If so, please let me know on which subcommunity you would prefer to keep it. Thank you :)
@admaiorasemper I would like to keep the one here, thank you. I'm not sure which are the other two forums where I posted it.
I guess there is some idealizing, you are right. Mostly because there is lack of many things in my relationship, I guess. And I'm easy to be impressed.
But I actually didn't want to make this post very long, that's why I wasn't very specific. His qualities, that are missing in my boyfrind, are that he is very active, he's someone to whom a woman can rely on. He has principles, he has a view of life, he has purposes, he's brave, he's pationate. He likes to think, he has the luggage to have deep, meaningful, serious conversation, not someone who's just answering with 'yeah.. yeah, right.. mmmm... how sadly/cool.".
And the list of differences goes on.
I have a girlfriend who told me that she gotten into an emotional affair while she was married. Well both were married. It was a coworker who was an 10 year older man. Anyway they both were having issues and they shared them together and connected. They got involved together and dated for two years I was told. I believe we all can get caught up in a moment. I once have been there but I thought more about my girlfriend more than anything. I wouldn't want nothing to go wrong there. But that relationship ended a year and a half ago. I think don't let quick moments sweep you off your feet. Keep your feet on the ground and focus on what important. Should you move on with your current relationship since you feel like your just mothering him or end it and give it time and see where this new guy will take you. It might not be what you thought. Moment always get people in trouble. I seen it happen all the time. Right now I'm having a hard time convincing my girlfriend that I love her and she thinks differently about me.
Well...........In my case I am alone and lookinfg for someone to come in my life......what you guys think of I am 40 male.....do you think i should go for having new life partner in this age or i should live my life as it is ??
@jayen009
I don't think you're ever too old to find the right partner if you're single or profoundly unhappy in your current relationship. With the current divorce rates and people getting married at an older age, there are likely a lot of women out there within your age range.