Self confidence at 39

@JohnDoe00 You got this! One thing my friends do is every time they look in the mirror they tell themselves something motivational and it helps a lot:)

There are a couple of misconceptions about self confidence and self worth that can be really confusing.

First, you can't build self worth and you don't have to. You are already worthy. It is the basis of who you are. Look at animals. Every animal knows it is worthy and that their needs matter. It's simply who they are.

Only humans sometimes have thoughts that doubt there self worth. But that doesn't make you any less worthy. Your self worth is absolute and you can't decrease it. You can only be misled by negative thoughts. But those are like dark clouds moving in front of the sun. The sun is still shining and so is your worthiness.

Second, self confidence is about acting from a realization of self worth. It doesn't mean you have to be good at something. You can even have self confidence while failing. Especially if you look at your failures as 'unscheduled learning opportunities'.

Most importantly, SELF confidence has nothing to do with other peoples compliments or criticism.

Sure, compliments are nice but how people judge you sometimes has very little to do with you. So I take the compliments and criticism, but my main focus is on how I feel about my efforts, not my results. Because effort I can control, results are dependent on many factors.

This is what works for me. Hope it resonates with you. :)

Hi JohnDoe.

I can relate. I am in a similar personal position, and I always defaulted to seeing my self worth based on how well I felt I was doing at work. But recently that has become a really unhelpful focus and negative impact.

I remember a while back when I got stuck thinking that my life wasn't where I wanted it to be, I had to adjust my thinking about how I see things, with a big dose of accepting the person I am and where I am in life.

Like unknown says, we are all worthy! I am having to remind myself of that at the moment, and trying to refocus again on just taking small steps (focusing my effort) on living a life that I enjoy and can appreciate.

I think sometimes we get lost / overwhelmed thinking of everything and the big scary issues/problems, that we forget to just enjoy and appreciate the everyday and small ok stuff.

Wishing you some fun and enjoyable moments just being you!

@JohnDoe00

You are worth the world! You are amazing and need to remind yourself of it!