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Good listener, not good friend

HearTheRhythm42 June 18th, 2021

I've always been able to listen patiently to others but I struggle with all the other social requirements that would make me a good friend by normal standards. So I find myself in my forties, no in person friends, and constantly searching for meaningful online connections to fill the void. I don't really get lonely, not in the way most people mean that. It would just be nice to feel supported at times.

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Mr0804 June 18th, 2021

I would describe myself similarly. I only have the ability to truly focus on my tasks at hand. So …I don’t usually take the time to be a good friend. When I do have time - I love to just sit and listen to friends. I tell myself that someday I’ll be a better friend….but it may never be in the cards. Currently I’m content as is though.

1 reply
HearTheRhythm42 OP June 25th, 2021

@Mr0804

Thanks for the repsonse. I think focus could be part of it. I focus on tasks or my inner world and don't need the attention of others to keep me interested

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TheDude0156 June 25th, 2021

I am not sure I ever had true friends. Not even in grade school. I have coworkers and associates. I am amazed I have girlfriend. I only see her once a week. I will be 46 in 2 weeks and to me it's just another day of the week. My parents don't even remember my birthday or age. All I do is work and sleep and watch tv. I do miss the regular touch and hug from other people.

1 reply
HearTheRhythm42 OP June 25th, 2021

@TheDude0156
I feel the same, that the people I used to hang out with weren't true friends. I can't imagine what that might be like

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AllThingsCherryUK June 29th, 2021

I have "Friends" that are what I'd describe as casual even though some have been friends for years and I bet none of them really know me and that's because I don't allow them to. I'm guarded and listen more then I talk. Not really a people Person and find making small talk excruciating. I chat better to people online that I don't know as feel I'm not being looked at and therfore judged. I generally solve my own problems lol.

adaptableSky4590 July 6th, 2021

I feel this way too. I can listen to people and care about them. But I don’t have the social skills to meet new friends. I have a very lonely job and feel like I’m losing my looks. If you want someone to chat with, I would be happy to chat with you. I could use a friend just like you.

1 reply
HearTheRhythm42 OP July 7th, 2021

@adaptableSky4590

Please feel free to message me any time, always happy to chat with someone that understands

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happycamper923 July 6th, 2021

Hi. How has your experience been with 7 cups? Im new to the app, too. Trying to figure out how this works. What activities do you enjoy?

1 reply
HearTheRhythm42 OP July 7th, 2021

@happycamper923

Welcome! This site has been amazing for me, just knowing there is always someone there to listen if needed, and I've learned so much by listening to others as well.

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