Giving to much
Good evening all, It’s been a while since I have been on, there’s been progress in little area but plenty of more work to do. Currently still facing my demons of insecurity and feeling lonely. I have been with my wife for over 14 years now and have 2 lovely children we have our own home decent jobs (ish) pays the bills :). But I have this over hanging issue of feeling like it myself and the kids and not much time for me and my wife. She’s currently evolving as a person to better herself and I feel I’m so far behind. I struggle to put myself first. I keep giving out to my wife and children. Is that a bad thing? Possible yes at the moment. My wife would like me to be confident say how I’m feeling when I feeling it look after number one I just find it so difficult. I asked her the question what or who do you put first our relationship or yourself, her reply was herself a little hard for me to hear this as I always thought we are in it for the long run. May be you have to put yourself first?? Any ideas or suggestion? Thanks
that sucks im sorry to hear that
Putting ones self first doesn’t mean you aren’t a team. Think of it like a sports team - each athlete works on their own physical and mental health and then also come together to train skills as a team. One supports the other, both aspects are important. Hope you can find your way to ignite your spark and get your confidence back. All the best.
@oceanwaves508 That's a good analogy. I like how you explain that.
@affectionateStrawberries2307
In some ways it depends on the moment on who is put first. However, if you don't take care of yourself then who will? I worked as a sexual assault advocate. I was always taught you cannot pour from an empty cup. In order for you to be the best husband, father, employee, etc. you have to take care of you! You have to get a little selfish with your time and take care of you! This doesn't mean you're neglecting all other duties it just means making you a priority. It doesn't have to be big chunks of time, it can be simple, such as: sitting down to read 10 minutes a day, or going for a 20 minute walk every day.. Think of the little changes you can make to get you where you want to be. Again, small changes can make great impact and if you don't do it no one else can. Hope this helps a little.
@mamavk86 You are so right about this.