@affectionateCat9553
It sounds like you’re feeling angry, scared and sad and perhaps some joy too for the good times and things regarding family.
This makes sense to me because when it comes to kin there are many buttons that could be pushed that aren’t otherwise.
One might wonder (as I have) is this even worth working on? Must it be so hard? How much of this is me and what is them?
So it sounds like it is confusing, which I could relate to. Is there something in the past that helped at alleviating the struggle?
Concurrently, is there a way to safely address and expel the emotions that working on and with family related challenges can create?
For me anger releasing meditations, hitting a pillow, taking a bath, reading, deep breathing or going for a brisk walk for example helped.
Some things to think about because if we just keep stuffing emotions down, down and down some more then they’re going to wreak havoc.
Also, think about your own bravery in reaching out and recognize, reward, and congratulate yourself for it. See the special aspects of you.
Perhaps we can’t see the small special ways we are because it’s hidden behind so much mental and emotional clutter. It’s there though.
Do you have any questions about what I’ve written?