Lost

My wife of 10 years , we’ve been together for close to 20, left me yesterday.

she left for work at 5am and sent me a text at 525am saying she wanted a divorce and that she’d be by after work to pack a bag and that she needs a few days before we talk. I didn’t see the message until I woke up around 7 to get ready for work. So I was in total shock. Tried calling her but straight to voicemail.

i took a pto day yesterday and today.

she came home after work, packed a bag, we talked a little but she hurriedly left. I texted her this morning, she said she’d let me know when she’s ready to come home and talk.

our marriage had been great for 9 of the 10 years, this last year there has been a bunch of stress, we relocated here from out of state for her work , everything has been a slow burn since moving down here. Stress of living in a new place , stress of new employment , stress of leaving family and friends behind.

i admit we probably need counseling, i am open to that, but she seems so damn certain she is done with it.

I am at a loss , I am feeling depressed , anxious, nervous, all at the same time. We don’t really have many friends to turn to outside of work. My family is 1300 miles away, I just feel alone. I am have a diagnosis of schizophrenia affective disorder (schizophrenia and bipolar) and I am super worried this will trigger my worst behavior, and that only ends up with me in the hospital for a 10 day stay…..

feels better having typed all this out.

thanks for reading