Loneliness hurts

I'm a 34 years old man, living in Czechia. Nearly all my life I was lonely. I never loved my parents. I always felt like a stranger as I was living with my parents. I was the only child. But they weren't able to give me love. I felt no more than a pet at home.

I had some short-lived relationships. It was either me or them. It never worked. I was loved. I had great s.x but it was like a camp fire. It decayed... Sundays hurt. Xmas and easter hurt even more. No one to go to somewhere. No one genuinely smiles on you. Sometimes it's hard to sleep. No one to cuddle. No warmth of the woman's body... It hurts man... It f.king hurts.

I write it maybe just for a vent. Maybe someone to talk to. I don't know..