How are you all coping ?
For those who have been dumped or ended a relationship over 15 years or more , how are you coping ? What did you do to get better each day ? Idk what to do at times and I hate bugging my friends to hear me . I know hurts more because just been a week since we split
@Leaningonfaith84
Hope you are doing better now...
I think the longer a relationship is it can be harder to really let go. lots of history and yes friends get tired of hearing it sometimes but if you an find a listener or therapist might help a good friend said he was not happy with idea of therapy but was glad he did and learned a lot about himself in it.
I’m a survivor of a 12 yr marriage. 6 years of healing, and everyday I heal a little bit more. Try to think of it as a new baby/1st born and you’re the new parent. I know it may sound dumb, but hear me out.
In the beginning, it’s difficult and more often than not you’ll feel overwhelmed, along with an ocean of emotion. But you have patience to nurture that emotion into something else, it won’t happen overnight, but in time the emotion will sprout into a new you, stronger and more confident, even carefree at times.
This is how I’m tackling the my situation.
I learned that routine helps, I had to sit and clear my mind of everything, meditate and get some quiet in my head. Then I was able to write a list of the things I enjoyed doing alone that would require full attention, no 2 ways about it. It had to be constant. I was afraid to be alone because of what I might do to myself, when the inevitable came and I found myself alone, my mind went haywire, my emotions a total train wreck caused by a plane crash, I mean absolute dumpster fire. I was a mess. So my list may or may not have consisted of some slightly dangerous hobbies that demanded absolute focus. Wood turning was my first crutch. I’m a poor man, very poor, so I did some fencing work for a guy I’d never met and after the job he paid me a little money and gave me a wood lathe. I taught myself how to use the lathe and got really good at it, eventually I managed to sell enough lidded jars, cups, ring posts, plates etc… to purchase my real hobby from childhood, a sport bike. Both require absolute focus and strength for obvious reasons. I still use both, when I began it was a daily thing, wouldn’t make it through a day without. Now I might use the lathe once every couple years, the bike maybe ride 50 miles total in the summer. I put 26000+ miles on it the first summer I owned it for perspective. So it takes mainly time but also keeping your mind and body too busy to dwell and fidget.
Just remember that you’re never alone in any situation, if you need help just reach out. You’re strong and you’ve already proven it by being here! So stay strong, you got this!!
