Finding my way again

Just turned 40 two weeks ago and 5 days ago my partner said he was no longer in love with me and was finally done . We were married up until 2016. Then back in 2017 he asked me if we could get back together and we were together up until 5 days ago . The longer we were together he felt he couldnt let go of issues we had when we were married , when we were divorced and when we got back together . He held resentment for many things that happened and always had a reason for his faults but mine were inexcusable . I tried my best to work on communication and be the partner he needed me to be now as opposed to what I was when I was his wife . No matter how much I tried to talk to him better he never wanted to talk . Disagreements became fights . All because he would get defensive , heated and wouldn’t want to talk. I had to be careful or else he would lose it . It never became better . It was only good if I stayed quiet . I tried to be that way so we could one day find ourselves out of this bad situation . I really wanted him to be the man I needed . Back in April he told me he was falling out of love but would try to work on it. He never did . I’m assuming he just expected to fix itself . The times we fought he kept saying he was done and unhappy . I tried to tell him let’s keep working on it . Once his emotions would go down it be back to normal .  With time I noticed more his disinterest. Even though he did go to Nashville with me for my 40th he didn’t really seel invested . He said the right things and we had bonding time but it still felt disconnected . We had two good weeks of calmness and we had an argument about going to a bday party and he just said I can’t anymore I’m leaving I’m done . He told our boys we were separating and for me to tell our daughter . I apologized to my kids over and over for not being able to keep our family together . They are sad but told me we would be ok.  My ex told me he tried to make it work but just couldn’t . I know deep down inside he didn’t try . I know he wants his own life . To be able to do his own thing . I’m just hurting was hoping our second time together would be awesome and we would be what we needed to be. I’m sad to hear someone say they’re are falling our of love and now 4 months later for sure no longer in love with me . I know I’ll be ok but it’s tough especially since he isn’t planning to move out right away . He plans to stay about 3 months to give himself time to get a spot . Tough for me since I’m not checked out and struggling to accept it’s over . Hard to think he will be out and about hardly at house but still here . I’m just hoping to heal.