Depressed, lost & seeking a mum figure for guidance
Im trying to figure out what my purpose is after both my parents have died. I feel like I need a mother figure as I can't figure anything out. I have Depression, fibromyalgia, lupus and PCOS, I don't have any kids, pets or partner. I have 2 sisters near by one is divorced with 2 teenage boys that I love. She cares but out relationship is overwhelming as I get PTSD when she talks about our parents in a negative way. I have distanced myself as I find I'm anxious when I am alone with her. My other sister is very busy with two young kids and a husband who works away i struggle to open up as we never can have a moment to talk. I'm 35 and I've been through bullying and abuse. I'm now struggling with how to live as my body is in pain and I'm not able to think confidently about what I want and how to make it happen. I feel stuck and hopeless. I want to help people but I'm afraid to feel things. I don't know where I belong. I wish I could find a healthy mother figure or father figure to guide me as all I want is to feel safe and secure.
@sociableBirch35
Hey dear
Firstly, I want to acknowledge your incredible strength. You've survived immense challenges - losing both parents, dealing with multiple chronic health conditions, past trauma, and the complex dynamics of family relationships. Your feelings are valid, and your struggle is real.
I hear your deep longing for guidance, safety, and purpose. While I can't replace a parent, I can offer some supportive perspectives:
1. Healing and Self-Discovery
- Your purpose isn't something you find overnight
- It's okay to take small steps
- Consider professional support like:
* Trauma-informed therapy
* Support groups for chronic illness
* Grief counseling
2. Creating Your Support System
- Look into:
* Online support communities
* Chronic illness support groups
* Mental health forums
* Mentorship programs
3. Personal Growth Strategies
- Start with small, achievable goals
- Practice self-compassion
- Explore interests that don't require physical strain
- Consider:
* Virtual volunteering
* Online courses
* Creative outlets that accommodate your health
4. Managing Health and Emotions
- Prioritize your physical and mental well-being
- Explore:
* Gentle movement therapies
* Meditation
* Pain management techniques
* Counseling for chronic illness
5. Finding Purpose
- Your desire to help people is meaningful
- Consider:
* Peer support roles
* Online advocacy
* Sharing your story
* Creating content about your experiences
Remember: Your worth isn't defined by productivity. You are valuable simply by being you. Your experiences, pain, and resilience are powerful. You don't need to have it all figured out right now.
I hope you'll read my reply and you'll get in touch. I'm a listener here who went through similar things as you. So, if you want to speak to someone who truly understands how you are feeling and what you're going through, and who can share some details on how emotions are processed just send me a message. I hope I can help you to get some clarity and will help you get some emotional relief.
I have PCOS, PTSD AND DEPRESSION too. Have you considered home care? You can usually set your own hours. Care takers are needed. Agencies train you. For PTSD have you done grounding techniques? I'm a mother figure for my friend Rob. His parents were absent and abusive. I'm teaching him how to do basics.
