Ideas please on how to make new friends
Hey guys, I moved to the countryside around 18 months ago and don't have many people locally I can go places with. I'm 37 this month, no kids, and I work from home. All my colleagues lives around the UK and most of my friends have their own partners/families /busy lives. I'm a really socialble person but fully aware that my OCD and anxiety has got worse since moving here due to the lack of friends and hobbies I have. It's started to effect my relationship with my long distance boyfriend as well as my mental health. I've tried joining Facebook friends groups and the MeetUp app but everyone I've spoken to so far are still quite far out and we exchange message for a couple days then they disappear. I joined the local gym but it's tiny and never anyone in there. Does anyone have any ideas of hobbies I could do or anywhere else I could try make new friends?
Hi! I like to make kandi and give them to anyone and everyone I can. They're pony bead bracelets. They're simple to make, i suggest mood kandi on tiktok/youtube for tutorials. It's a rave thing but ive never been to a rave. I just think itd be easy and fun for just about anyone! I get most my beads from beadtin which is based in florida
i also recently signed up for bumble for friends which is fun for me. you dont have to be visible to people dating or anything like that. its the bff filter i think. i think its pretty cool
also im glad u r here and 37!!! Happy birthday, late or early, whenever it is!
Hello!
I am currently on bumble bff and so far good. I have not met anyone in person yet but it’s great conversation!
If you are countryside and like the outdoors maybe gardening? I am in the county in South East USA and I attempted to start my garden from seeds and I ended with one tomato plant. So, I had to buy starts but I should have my own veggies soon if they all make it though my learning to garden phase!
Best!
It's unfortunate but it is a trade-off. (the essence of things is that you can't have something without giving up something) -- you gave up the busy inner-city life (assumption) with the ability to meet lots of friends // for solitude, peace, and unfortunately a lesser ability to mingle. I'd consider virtual chats (we used to do smoke sessions) or I would introduce myself to the neighbors, find a horse farm and volunteer (they love free labor and will feed you) . get creative and go bold. @needtochange22
Hi,
The only thing I can think of is if you try to diversify your activities as much as possible, and see what works best in terms of meeting people. I am in my 40's myself, and the past few years have been really hard because of the pandemic, but I can relate to you conundrum because I also work from home and I know how easy it is to get stuck in a certain mindset of feeling like there is no hope to do anything or meet people. I wonder if perhaps you can also incorporate some regular weekend activities. I have sometimes traveled outside of my area because I can't relate to some people where I live, and it took me a long time to get used to here, and have found some connections that way. I am also in the US but I am originally from Europe, but I haven't been living there in a long time. My defect is that I enjoy being alone most of the time.
I am sure that if you keep trying, you will eventually find something. At the same time, sometimes doing things locally can also help. I understand it can get tiring. Sometimes I just go with the flow and see what happens. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. I will be doing this myself again soon.
Prior to the pandemic I had met a bunch of people by going to events and things I don't normally do. I in some cases was not looking for a relationship, but I did bump into some people that I had some flirtations with. You could also try start dating if you feel comfortable with that, and see where it goes, if you are looking for that type of connection. It will keep you busy and sometimes will make you realize what you are looking for.
Always use caution though and be safe before getting too close emotionally and physically to anyone; hopefully you will get to know people over time. Hope this is helpful
I really hope to make it to Europe soon this summer, the traveling situation looks very risky, but I will try.
Great idea to canvas for suggestions! I've lived in both countryside and cities so know a little bit what you're going through. Am also in my mid-30s.
Both virtual and in-person meetups can make a difference. During the pandemic, I did lots of online calls and games with friends and it really helped. We're also going to be testing out some medium-term groups on 7 Cups so let me know if you'd like to participate in those!
For in-person, here are some ideas. And you're right that hobbies and groups are great ways to meet people!
- Bake some cakes and give spares to any neighbours you have as a way of saying hello
- Volunteer for a local charity
- Pick up a new hobby (I picked up cycling and then joined some local cycle groups)
- Join a walking group (Muslim Hikers on Twitter is an example of an unexpected walking group)
Keep us updated if any of these work for you!
I should add, I live in England and have a boyfriend. I have friends to text and video call but that not enough, I like hanging out with friends in person
@needtochange22 HI you are right, I was just talking from my perspective, sorry about that. I do hope my feedback helped a little.
I've had some decent experiences on Bumble BFF which is specifically for platonic friendship. The issue I find with meetups or IG friends is they tend to be kinda flaky. I haven't had much luck with cultivating deeper friendships with them. Are there any volunteer groups near you? That can be a nice way to meet people.
