@overloverlay Hello! Making mistakes is human. I like to call it growing pains, as kids we felt these strange pains that we couldn't explain, and our parents would tell us "it just means you're growing" and low and behold here we are, all grown up. No one tells you the same when you're an adult, when you mess something up, say the wrong thing, mingle with the wrong people, etc. But these are still growing pains, the only difference is that no one tells you what it is. Growing pains suck, but they're a necessity. Without them we would never learn anything, we would still be scared little kids.
I'm not saying that whatever you did is okay, I'm saying that it's okay to make mistakes, even if they're big ones. Forgiving yourself is the first and hardest part, it's not an easy thing to do. But right now, what you need to do is look at the consequences, accept them and ask yourself "how can I start to make this right?" You won't be able to make it so nothing every happened, and that's okay. But you can start to make it up to the people you have hurt, and that's most likely all they want. You need to understand that you've made a mistake, that's the first step and you've already done it! Now accept it for what it is, and as you work towards making it better you will start to forgive yourself.
And if you can't work towards that just yet, apologise to them, let them know you're going to try your best to improve yourself, and give yourself time. Take time to find your feet again, take time to look after yourself. You might feel like you don't deserve it, but you do, even if you've made a mistake. Look after your mind, and your body, and soon you will have the means to fix your mistake.
I hope this helps x you will be okay