Feeling bad about myself

Hi guys,

I am just sad. I dont know what to do, so i thought to write a thread.

I am feeling so bad about myself. Its not getting any better.

Today i asked one of my friend that why do you think that i dont have any close friends and she said thats because you are never open and you are always mysterious.what she said is true.

I never open up. I am just scared that they will judge me based what i talk and treat me poorly. I am afraid that they are not intetested in my topics. So i just keep quite.

I never had any real connections. Those who stayed eventually left me because i never open up.

I push people when they come close to me.

Now i am alone.

Dont know what to do.

I wish i was normal like everyone and had lots of friends.

I dont see myself worthy enough to have a good friend or anybody or anything.