Desiring Intimacy, Need Help!
So this is a long one but PLEASE help me if you can:
I need some advice. I’m 26 and I’ve never been in a relationship or even had a first kiss. I’ve always wanted to be in a relationship and loved the idea of it. I’ve always imagined what it would be like to be intimate with someone, and share thoughts and feel connected to someone in that way. I just started going on dating apps recently and I found a guy I have a lot in common with and who I like, and so I have the opportunity now, but it doesn’t feel like I thought it would. We’ve talked on the phone now for hours. We have a date scheduled for this Thursday.
We live about 2 hours away from each other. We decided to meet halfway, so to get to him, I would need a $60 Uber for an hour, both ways, because I don’t have a car. I have the money but even just writing about spending $120 for a first date sounds crazy. So I know it’s not something I should do and probably won’t. But I feel more connected to this person and have more in common with this person than I’ve ever had with literally anyone else. Apart of me feels like I don’t know if I’ll ever have this much in common with anyone else.
Being in my 20s is already hard enough, it’s the first taste of adulthood and it’s extremely overwhelming and anxiety producing and all of the things. I find myself late at night desperately wishing I had someone to be intimate with, share my desires and dreams and fears and feelings with. And be able to give physical love to and receive it as well. I know having people to be intimate with in life makes life feel better and easier because we weren’t meant to do this *** alone. Because of the nature of my current job, I can’t go out with friends much. I work 10 hour days and by the end of it, I’m tired as *** and still have to make myself dinner and take care of myself.
It feels like this is a period in my life where I need to focus on myself and my goals so that I can set myself up for my 30s. But I still have those desires to be intimate with someone every day, so do I just ignore them? I feel them most at night and when I wake in the morning. I know the answer feels simple, to just get over them, I guess, and focus on me. But I don’t think shoving my feelings in a corner is going to help long term. After all, the desire to be intimate as a 26 year old woman is natural.
I know due to my highly sensitive nature, I can’t just do hookups or anything like that. My nervous system isn’t equipped for that. I appreciate you if you made it this far into reading this, and to be honest I don’t want any religious answers. I am a pastors’ kid, so I’m well versed on the Christian standpoint on all this. I just need some real life, self development, mature advice. A change in perspective, perhaps. I don’t know, what do y’all think? Please, send help.
@quietLime7339 Focus on the Journey not the Destination.
If you have the money you should go for that first date. Otherwise you will regret about it in future.
If you can, better to work less or take leaves in between and enjoy life. I mean not only to care about your self, go for trips, make friends, be lazy at times, do crazy things etc..
Don't think too much about your 30s. If you didnt get to your goal in 30s you can make it in 40s, 50s, 60s. Dont worry about it.
Dont end up alone in your self and dont end up for less in your life. Take chances and time.💓💓💓💓
@quietLime7339 what you feel is totally valid. Getting to know others and having relationships is part of our growth as a humans. Of course you can focus on your goals and having a meaningful bond its as much of a goal as a career goal. I suppose that if you've taken the necessary precautions you could go and meet this person. Many great stories started like that and whatever happens its gonna be a experience to get you closer to what you are looking for. Sure you might have to kiss some frogs on the way or maybe u will get lucky early on your journey but the only way to know its by trying. Wish you the best.
