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yellowSquare5747
1,157 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 42 Compassion hearts53 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2023 Member sinceOctober 24, 2021
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It's frustrating.
Depression Support / by yellowSquare5747
Last post
 January 18th, 2022
...See more Most of the time, I want to be mad at myself as I cannot function normally like other people. I used to enjoy a lot of things and wouldn't bother about opinion of others. I used to be able to work on everything without hesitation. I used to be able to solve everything without asking anyone's help. However, I think I was in my last straw since last year. It has been years that I don't feel like myself at all. I lost my interest in everything and I don't feel like I'll lose anything if it will happen that way. Everything I used to enjoy and that makes me happy, they're all now frustate me so much. I just want to throw away this negativity as far as I can and as soon as I have a chance. I beg you, I just want to function normally like I used to do. I ask myself almost everytime whenever I do something: why can't I just live my life normally like other people? Can I stop pretending as if I were the only one who suffer the most? Feels like it doesn't make sense at all and it drives me insane as I don't know how to talk more about it chronologically. I can't solve it nor do something about it yet and I really hate it. I don't know the actual source of my unhappiness or anything about it. I thought it's just a burnt out, but it persists for years already. I don't want to live my life like this. I was supposed to make my parents proud of me. But now, I'm just a failure as they regret for my existence. I apologize for my failure for being unable to do most of things. I'm really sorry. I'm tired to be called as lazy but I don't know what's wrong inside my mind. I don't know which category of depression that I've experienced as I haven't gotten a chance to seek professional help.
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