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yellowEast1717
1,904 M Hopeful Heart 1
PathStep 17 Compassion hearts85 Forum posts54 Forum upvotes48 Current upvotes48 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2022 Member sinceJune 29, 2020
Recent forum posts
I think...
Depression Support / by yellowEast1717
Last post
 May 9th, 2022
...See more Going through a lot of stuff right now that I can't even explain in simple words. Things and people around me are giving me so much mental pressure that one day I think l may hand over my life to death.... It's so frustrating..... I'm trying to give others some hope in life whereas I'm losing all my hopes slowly...
Why is it so hard to make some good friends.?
Relationship Stress / by yellowEast1717
Last post
 April 20th, 2022
...See more I always ask myself why I find it so hard to make some good friends.? Am I the only one who finds it pretty hard..? I never asked to have many people as my good friends. I only want one good friend with whom I can share anything and trust that person blindly. I always have tried enough to be someone's good friend and every time I have realized that I'm not even their friend. Whenever I walk alone in the street and see others walking side by side with their friends I feel jealous. I don't want to but I eventually do feel jealous. Since my childhood, I have always yearned to have one good friend and whenever I get one at the last moment something happens which takes away all my belief in friendship but still I want to have friends. At some point, sometimes, I blame myself for not having a good friend. It haunts me, it makes me feel lonely. I never ask anything else except for a friend, a loyal and an honest one but still, I never get one. Every time, I lose him or her. Every time I get hurt whenever I try to make have one good friend...
Breaks me
General Support / by yellowEast1717
Last post
 April 20th, 2022
...See more Have anyone of you ever felt distant from your family members and relatives to a level that you wish either they disappear from your life or you disappear from their lives..? I don't know but I guess it's a common thing. I never used to like my paternal side relatives because they always show off stuff which I hate a lot. I was somewhat close with my maternal side relatives. I used to believe that if ever anything happens to my parents I will go with them and they will treat me like their own child but now when I'm 18 I realized how wrong I was and people do changes. Before I was blindfolded now I can see their real faces behind the invisible masks they put on every single time. The shows that they love me they care for me but they don't. I can see in their eyes the hatred that they have for me. If anything serious happens and I inform them they don't believe me they simply ask for proof. Whereas, if the same thing is done by my older brother they will believe him blindly. This kind of behavior of them makes me feel like I don't belong in this place. I always wanted to run away from my home because of all the nuisances they create in my life. Even if I don't have any fault they used to blame me though still, they do that but not like before because I am maintaining a distance from them but still whenever they get a chance they hurt me immensely. I'm not a weak girl. I'm a strong one but their actions are so hurtful that it breaks all of my confidence into pieces. Sometimes, when I see them feel hurt by someone else I feel nothing neither sad nor happy for whatever they did with me. It's a weird numb feeling. I just stare at them blankly. People tell me I'm too sensitive but I'm not. I'm a very expressive person. I express my feelings loudly so that the people around me notice that I'm a human I also feel hurt which is caused by them. And my feelings can also break apart. My heart can break into pieces as well. Sorry. I know I was out of track of what I was saying but that's how I'm truly feeling. Every single time a new person comes in and says rubbish and then makes me feel worst. I mean can't they leave others alone? Why the hell do they need to comment on people's life. If they can't say anything nice to the people then it's better if they just mind their matters.
Will I be able to succeed..? Will I Ace in my exam..?
Anxiety Support / by yellowEast1717
Last post
 April 15th, 2022
...See more Well, last week I was pretty much happy with my current life. But the near the exam is coming the more anxious I'm getting. I just hope I don't disappoint my parents and my teacher. Especially, I don't want to disappoint myself. I know it's very easy to ace it but still, I feel like giving up on everything. I'm feeling like to die and God will again make me come into this world and everything will be alright. But while imagining that why do I forget that it's a life which I'm talking about. There's no second chance in it. I just hope I don't disgrace or disappoint the childhood me who is still hoping for a beautiful life with happy memories. However, to create that I need to ace my exams... Now I'm not sure whether I can or not. I'm getting demotivated due to all the people around me. They are supposed to motivate me or give me a study environment instead they are demotivating me by sleeping or telling me something to do when I got the motivation to study... I don't know where I will end up in the future... I just hope wherever I will be I'm happy with the current me. Please, everyone, pray for me. So, that I can get great grades on my exam.
Am I depressed...?
Depression Support / by yellowEast1717
Last post
 April 9th, 2022
...See more I don't know how exactly a person should feel when he or she is depressed. And honestly speaking, I don't even understand what should I feel right now. The person whom I loved a lot is acting like a stranger just because I can't give him any commitments which he needs in his life " Why I can't give him any commitments? I can't because I don't believe in marriage. Since my childhood, I have seen couples having an unhealthy married life which has bothered me to the core of my heart and for which I started to hate the word marriage". I do respect his decision but what should I do now? I know it's not easy for him as well but at least he has some wonderful people in his life with whom he can share his feelings what about me? From the day I met him I always thought if he is with me I don't need anyone else and truly speaking before I didn't need anyone except for him because he used to understand me more than others. Now I'm clueless. I am an introverted person in real. I can't be socially active with the people until they come to talk with me first. So, I think to share my thoughts my opinions my feelings. I have come here. Rest I don't know where my life will end up. Sorry, I have written a lot, and thanks for reading so far. It means a lot.
Life is a never ending game
Depression Support / by yellowEast1717
Last post
 April 8th, 2022
...See more We are in a never-ending game where at every level we need to face hurdles of pains anger and other emotions. We want to give up but still look for one last hope not to give up. But then again we get attacked by other players which bring immense pains that can't be explained. And only a few of us win and get a happy ending whereas others just wait for this never-ending game to end forever.
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