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whimsychaser99
2 346 M Embraced 3
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts95 Forum posts16 Forum upvotes75 Current upvotes75 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceOctober 21, 2024
Bio

A Work In Progress

24


Recent forum posts
I just need to hear it’s still worth fighting
General Support / by whimsychaser99
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I’m usually pretty good about encouraging others. But I’ve done all I can do for myself it feels. Over a decade of my 24 years have been dedicated to trying to cope with what I now know is BPD among other things, and even in the years since I got my diagnoses, I’ve only gone downhill. I try to stay hopeful but I can’t handle the fact that I constantly push away the very few people that love me because I’m so terrified they’ll hurt me like other people have in the past. But I also don’t want to go through life alone. How do you allow yourself to let go of the fear of what could go wrong and just allow yourself to trust that it can be different this time?
Poem #2
General Support / by whimsychaser99
Last post
 November 5th
...See more Hey guys, I shared a poem here a few days ago and the feedback I got was amazingly inspiring to me and has been so helpful in getting through this past week. I just finished another much longer piece, and figured I’d share an excerpt of the ending for y’all since it seemed my last one helped some of you. ☺️ thank you for reading! -Whimsy 11/1/24- excerpt from A Work In Progress I had to fully break, before I was allowed to bloom, in order to recognize my own potential.  I had to feel my fingers snapping under the weight Of trying to hold together an image of someone  I had never met In order to realize, Just how heavy that burden was. I had to wait for my wounds to heal. And then, I rebuilt. When I was ready, I decided to become so eccentric, So outlandish, So unapologetically odd, That if anyone felt the desire to get close to me, To look at this half-bald-headed, blue haired girl who dons the uniform of Johnny Cash every day, And think to themselves  “She’s my type of out there”, That I would finally know I was worth it. As myself, and nothing more. I found those people in an art room in my senior high,  Surrounded by giggles and clay and probably more mental illness and trauma than I even knew. But we supported each other. Through art, through stories, through laughter. These people knew me, Really knew me, And loved me for every quirk and abnormality. I wasted years of my life trying to cram a glass slipper onto a foot designed for poorly painted skater shoes. I wasted connections with people that mattered, for people that saw me as nothing more Than a project to complete in order to make themselves seem more impressive.  More charitable. If I am a project, I am a work in progress that only I can decide how to complete. That gratification, that sense of accomplishment is mine alone. I don’t need to be extravagant in my appearance anymore. I still express myself, but I no longer feel I have to emulate an animal using their brightly colored exterior to scare away potential danger. I learned how to find not only acceptance, But comfort in my ability to be the most off-putting yet kindest person in a room. My story isn’t over yet, And now I know who I want to write it with. And beyond that, I’m finally excited to keep turning the pages of each passing day, just to see what happens next. I don’t have to escape into fiction anymore, because what I’m working on right now is going to be worth every second.  You can’t have a happy ending without a little tragedy.
I haven’t written poetry in years, but I needed an outlet.
General Support / by whimsychaser99
Last post
 November 1st
...See more 10/28/2024 - If I Must If I have to, I will start again. I will start again every year if I must. I will change with every season, Adapting to colder environments, tucking the blanket under my own toes as I hug my body close for warmth. Blossoming in the sunny months, surrounded by all I need to be fulfilled, Showered in encouragement and the belief That wilted doesn’t always mean dead. And if I must,  I will start again every month. Taking it slowly, budgeting my energy like my illnesses are bills, hiding around the corner of next week waiting to lap up what I’ve worked so hard to save.  But I’m very frugal.  And I’ve lived on less. And if I must, I will. I will start again every single day. From the moment the sun forces my weary eyes awake, Not really from sleep but just from the time I spent hallucinating in bed for as many hours as the pain will allow. I will drag a warm washcloth across my face. Even on the days I don’t recognize it as my own. Especially those days. I will stand on my own two feet, even when they hurt,  especially when they hurt, Because as long as there is pain, there is still something inside of me. There is still the possibility That I can start again. And as long as I can start again, As long as I get to start again, I am still here. I’m still alive. And for that reason alone, Not only can I,  But I must.
How to Cope with Physical & Psychological Pain?
General Support / by whimsychaser99
Last post
 November 5th
...See more Hey, I’m Whimsy im new here. I’m 24 and have been diagnosed with BPD along with a few other mental illnesses since I was 18. As I’ve gotten older, my mental illness has gotten worse and I’ve noticed now that my physical health is deteriorating extremely quickly. I’ve now been diagnosed with multiple chronic pain conditions, and it’s likely they were caused by the years of stress. Has anyone else gone through something like this? We’re now pursuing a fibromyalgia diagnosis, and it’s really hard to cope with going from working out 6 days a week to being unable to even work right now. Just looking for some ideas / support with getting through this, I guess.
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