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vilivilperi
960 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 28 Compassion hearts72 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2015 Member sinceApril 12, 2015
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I can't feel happy?
Trauma Support / by vilivilperi
Last post
 March 13th, 2016
...See more I've been diagnosed officially with PTSD, but me and my psychiatrist both think that I have c-PTSD. Anyway the thing why I want to share my feelings is that I don't know anymore what happiness feels like. Yes, I know it a bit and it comes only very rarely and for few seconds most likely and then it is gone. No matter what I do, I don't feel happiness. I know that some things make me feel better, but not exactly happy. For example, I'm sure that if I wouldn't have great time with my boyfriend, I wouldn't feel so well as I do - I'd miss it a lot and feel sad without him in my life. I love him dearly and he is the one for me, it's not about that. Another example: I love drawing, have loved it my whole life. It makes me feel okay, but not happy. And I love taking care of pets - and I have few cats myself - but it still doesn't make my brain think that I'd be happy. My therapist have said to me that it is most likely that my brain doesn't know anymore what happy-feeling is actually. As we both agree, my c-PTSD started VERY young and my personality and development was not finished at all. My multiple and ongoing traumatic experiences started as I were little kid and continued until I ran away from my home - at age of 17. I think that this is a key thing in this. I am currently 22, turning 23 in the end of this year. I somewhat know what feeling happy is as I've said, but it comes so so so rarely that it makes me a bit worried if I'll ever have normal feeling-scale at all. My mother has said that I should seek for even the smallest things to be happy about and there is currently many things in my life of which I should be glad about. I am glad about that I have my boyfriend (we've been together for 6 years so far), we have quite nice rental apartment, I have 3 cats which I love dearly, I am graduating from school finally at age of 23. Could please someone tell how to feel more happy again? I have medication and therapy, but is there any other way to myself seek more for happiness, how to find it in my life more often? 
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