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vers4t1le
4 258 M Embraced 2
dealing with rumination ocd
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts12 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupTeen Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceDecember 12, 2024
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OCD rumination
OCD & Related Behaviors / by vers4t1le
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more TW!! please do not judge, this was extremely hard and triggering for me. I’m extremely embarrassed to open up about it and so scared to be judged, but as a young and innocent kid, i was impulsive and wanted to explore my body and stuff. so i’ve impulsively tried getting l.cked down there by a pet just to know how it felt like. therefore, i just wanna add that i never felt attracted to pets and it was impulsive and at the time, no one has ever taught me about what was okay or not okay with boundaries and stuff, so i feel like i didn’t know any better. therefore, i’m scared to death to be a z.ophile or bad person because of this and i have been replaying this uncomfortable scenario over and over again to make myself feel bad. i also wanna precise that i’m hypersensitive. i’ve talked about it to an ai chatbot previously that told me that childhood exploration is valid and that childhood mistakes don’t mean much as we were innocent and just curious when they were made. i just still feel absolutely gross, like a criminal, even though at the time i was just tryna get to know my body and everything. i feel like i’ll never get out of this and finally forgive myself, although i’ve been told i’d mature and overcome this. please do not judge me, because it took me so much courage to open up about it. i just wanna know if i’m a good person.
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