Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
twstr8223
9,771 M Pacing Forward 2
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts254 Forum posts12 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2020 Member sinceMarch 1, 2020
Recent forum posts
I wrote a Letter to Ex (I thought she was the one)
Relationship Stress / by twstr8223
Last post
 May 16th, 2020
...See more Hello I hope everyone is doing okay. My ex and I broke up in January we were dating for 2.5 years. It was quite a shock to me at first but I have now realized maybe we did need to seperate. I am doing so much better than I was finding new hobbies and really learning how to love myself. Someone that I know suggested that I write her a letter with all my feelings and i can either share it with her or not. After writing it and doing some thinking I have decided that I want to share it with her. The leter is not at all asking for a secind chance, it mostly just says that you meant so much to me and I know see the reason for a breakup, that all I want is for her to find happiness in the world in herslef and then eventually with someone else, that I wish I could give/show her that but I understand if she doesn't want it. I also say how you realize you truly love someone when you want them happy even if it is without you. My point in writing this letter is to get my feelings out and tell her how I truly feel about her. I am not trying to manipulate or ask for a second chance with it. It is just all my feelings written down. I sure hope she respects that. So the thing is that we still have each others stuff at our houses even though it has been 4 months. We will be giving each others stuff back once quarantine ends. I am really nervous about this encounter because that is when I will be sharing it with her. I was thinking of sending it in the mail however she has a hard time concentrating and staying focussed due to her ADHD and probably beeing emotional when she reads it. So my plan is when we see each other is that I read it to her. I know I am doing the right thing because it is showing the kind of guy that I want to be and I also don't want to feel like I wish i had said this to her. Trying my best to not overthink her reaction but it has been on my mind more recently.
Really need some help
Relationship Stress / by twstr8223
Last post
 March 30th, 2020
...See more So my girlfriend and I were dating for 2.5 years. We were both so happy. We got along so well. My family welcomed her and she was part of the family from the first time they met her. The same thing goes for me and her family. They were the best and they saw how well I treated her and that I genuinely cared for her. During our relationship she had a big depression period. I was the first and looking back probably the only one that knew. She told me she trusted me the most and stuff. So being a good bf I told her everything was going to be fine. We got over that hump together she was happy and that made me happy. I was there for her at her worst. I would never leave her. I did so much for her like for our one year anniversary I made a book of all our memories together with pictures and exact dates along with summaries of what we did and such. I made her cards, and other stuff. She did the same thing. We were so great with each other that I showed her some of my hobbies I like and she did the same. Things were great. So I thought. Towards November and December she asked for a break. She said she was lost and needed to focus more on herself, and hang out with family. We talked it out both times and eventually thought we could get through it together. I started to realize after Christmas that we do need to fix things and I was in the process of doing so. Not just for her myself in general too. She has anxiety, depression, ADHD, and is bipolar . Since I was with her I learned to accept those things she had because that is what you do when you really love someone. I was getting stressed and realized I started to get anxiety. I started to feel way better and I thought things would get better once class started back up in January. However, she thought otherwise. SHe asked for a break for the third time. This time I let her talk and instead of telling her no or anything like that I agreed. I thought that be the best. So a few days went by and I was a mess but I was feeling better than she asks for a breakup and that she can't do this. She told me she needs to find herself, she can't love someone until she loves herself, and she thought that I deserved someone better. I was shocked and hurt but accepted it right away bc I could tell she was happy. However once I thought about it I was a mess. For about a week I was acting on pure emotion, not thinking. I begged her for another chance and stuff. I then stopped bc I realized what I was doing. Since than I have been more focussed on myself doing things I wanted to do. I thought time and space was all we needed from each other. We spent so much time together we both lost who we were. So her birthday was yesterday and I made her a card bc I thought it is a nice thing. You treat others the way you want to be treated. She texted me thank you for the birthday card. I am not sure if she actually meant it or not. I wrote a letter to her explaining that I truly love her. I wrote it with all my heart. I said all I want her is to be happy. Whether that is with me or not, as much as it hurts to see her with someone else. I said I can't compete with other guys but I can give you a heart that truly loves you but I do understand if you are not ready for a committed relationship like that. I really do love her and I would love to get back together. Her family has a big influence on that and she does too. However today my friend sent me her Instagram post. (I got rid of all social media, to better myself) She said that she hasn't been this happy ever and is thankful for the people that helped and that were there through moving from her dad's house to her mom's house. It hurts reading that not that she is happy but I was there during that transition in life. I was there when not many people were there. I supported her during that very hard time in her life. I just don think she cares or appreciated anything I did for her which sucks. I am starting to think maybe she never loved me and just used me for a source of happiness for a while. I am trying to move on but it is so hard because I still love her and care for her. It sucks knowing she may think I was a bad boyfriend or something but I really was not at all. It really has taken a toll on me today. Thank you for reading this. I know it is long but I really could use someone. I am trying to move on but some days I want her back others I don't. I am so lost and I feel like I could have done more but I know I did the best I can for her.
Search more from @twstr8223
Talk to an expert therapist
Hi there, thank you for reading my bio. My name is Amy and I have been a LMFT...
Talk to AMY Now
Badges & Awards
24 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Super Active Chief Chat Honest Voice Strong Start Milestone Journeying Strong Reconnect Walking Together First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Helpful heart Kindness personified Loving Soul Bundled Group Chimer Group Friend Forum Friend Meaghan's Heart Strong Bond I
Report an issue