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turquoisefox18
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts32 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes19 Current upvotes19 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2024 Member sinceMay 17, 2024
Bio

I have social anxiety and general anxiety, and my husband has bipolar 2 disorder. I work as a crisis hotline counselor so I understand the importance of having a compassionate listener to support you through difficult times.

Recent forum posts
Questioning
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by turquoisefox18
Last post
 May 29th
...See more I'm having a lot of confusing thoughts and would appreciate some other perspectives. I am a cis woman married to a cis man, and last year he came out to me as bisexual. It took me by surprise and I think because of that I started to wonder, what if I am bi too? As a teenager, a female friend and I made out and kind of groped each other, but in my mind I minimized it by saying we were just practicing what it would be like to do that with boys. I remember we were also cuddling in my parents bed and then my brothers busted in the room and made fun of us, asking if we were lesbians. I always had crushes on boys, so I knew I wasn't a lesbian. Maybe because of that I shut down any possibility of being bisexual? I never had a real crush on a girl except that I distinctly remember when I first met that same friend in 2nd grade I thought she had the most beautiful eyes and just wanted to gaze into them. Later, in my late 20s I had a coworker who was a lesbian and she invited me to a lesbian bar. This was in another country, and there was one woman in like a bikini dancing around in the middle of a circle of us. When she came around to me I really enjoyed grinding and dancing close, which I have never done with a woman before. I also went on a few dates with a trans man before. It didn't lead to anything but I was definitely attracted to him. And now I am getting curious about polyamory and would possibly be open to being with a woman or a trans man. I definitely find them hot in porn, just have not found myself crushing on a woman in real life. Anyway, that's my background but my dilemma is: 1. If I didn't really question my sexuality until my husband opened up about his, does that make me disingenuous or something? 2. Am I really straight and these isolated experiences don't mean anything, in which case I wouldn't really belong in the LGBTQ+ community? 3. Could I be bi or pan or just queer but I'm a coward for not coming out because it's easy to pass as hetero?
Stuck
Relationship Stress / by turquoisefox18
Last post
 May 30th
...See more I can't stop spying on my husband's phone and I don't know what to do about it. Over the past year I have found him exchanging sexual messages with several random women online, but I can't confront him about it without admitting that I also betrayed him by invading his privacy. I know if I did bring it up, he would minimize it saying it was just flirting and they never met in person so it's not cheating. What bothers me the most is that he is hiding it from me. But then I feel like a hypocrite because I'm also keeping this secret from him. Recently he changed the password on his phone and it makes me worried that he either knows I was checking it or he has something even bigger to hide now. Should I just accept that this is something he'll keep doing? I'm afraid talking to him about it will be the end of our marriage.
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