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toughBlueberry
17 20,346 M Progress Road 9
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts913 Forum posts40 Forum upvotes137 Current upvotes137 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceAugust 3, 2018
Bio

A person has many facets. One day we're broken, next day we're strong. We have been in numerous places and we're still here. We're still navigating through this confusion and getting better at loving, softening and being. One step at a time.



Recent forum posts
I need love
General Support / by toughBlueberry
Last post
 April 23rd
...See more I don't feel well. I need a bit of love. I can't even imagine talking to someone, I feel so overwhelmed. Please send me some love. Thank you.
Imagine a person sear your heart when you seek support
General Support / by toughBlueberry
Last post
 September 20th, 2023
...See more Then squeal like a birthday girl when she receives support from you.
I need a bit of love today please
General Support / by toughBlueberry
Last post
 August 25th, 2023
...See more Just a bit of love, today the extra love outside of myself is needed.
Yesterday was so nice
General Support / by toughBlueberry
Last post
 September 6th, 2022
...See more I knew I'd be absorbed if he responds. And I was. So I let myself be absorbed for a while, for about a day, letting my daily worries disappear. In the middle I got anxious when he had to attend to something. I felt like he won't write back. It was too difficult for me to concentrate but with trial and error, I did yoga and meditation, gradually had a nice time with myself and then checked text. He did text back. And after waiting a while, we talked even more, and he went to do something, really difficult time to wait, then came back and we talked again. It was satisfying in the end that he didn't keep me hanging before leaving. So I had a good night's sleep. I was anxious to text him because it doesn't end well. But it ended well yesterday and I'm grateful it didn't take me down a guilt trip to text someone who isn't healthy for me. It was nice, pure calmness. :).
Well I got demoted
Self-Harm Recovery / by toughBlueberry
Last post
 August 23rd, 2022
...See more It happened at last. I slap.ped myself today. When I heard they talked mean behind my back I felt like slapping them. Today I slap.ped myself. My classmate 10 years ago said he felt like slapping me because I said "What's wrong with this class? Why does everyone hate it?" Just out of curiosity. What's sad is that I still continued to have a nice relationship with him, even a few days back I was nice to him. So he won. I did it to myself today. I've been working hard on managing emotions, but I did something that I thought I would never do. I don't know if I'm being whiny, because a lot of people go through worse. It's scaring me, because what if I do something even worse. I have thoughts of worse.
How does child sexual abuse victims later become child sexual abusers themselves?
Trauma Support / by toughBlueberry
Last post
 September 18th
...See more I recently read Perks of being a Wallflower and saw aunt Helen molest Charlie because she was molested as a child. How does her mind work while doing this? Does she do this because she finds children arousing? And how does that links to her being molested as a child? Or is it a power and control situation? How does molesting him makes her feel more powerful? Does she get sexual pleasure from touching him, or does she want to make him feel bad somehow? It would be great help if you can help me understand. Regards.
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