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stormchaserlady
244 M Embraced 2
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts18 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 14, 2022
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He "eviscerated" me
Relationship Stress / by stormchaserlady
Last post
 November 18th, 2022
...See more We were high school sweethearts. We had a daughter after graduation. 2 years later we married. I loved him beyond words. Whole heartedly. The first few years were great. Then he started to become a little controlling. I just accepted it. He is who he is and I love him. At 27 years old I was diagnosed with stage 3 non- hotchkin lymphoma. During the coarse of treatment, he had little to do with me. My mom was my caretaker when I wasn't in the hospital. I still loved him. So deeply. When I started healing and getting back to somewhat normal, he came up with something called "the list". It was a list of places I was not allowed to go, certain things I couldn't buy, certain name brands I couldn't buy etc. He started staying out all night. This went on for a while. Once I was well enough, I got a job. Hoping this might make him happy. Wrong. Nothing changed. Later on... this happened. It was my birthday. He was working 3rd shift and I was working first. That morning he came home before I left. He gave me a big hug and kiss. Wished me a happy birthday and told me he loved me. I told him that I was likely coming home early due to the light work list we had for that day. I got to leave work at about 8:30. I texted him before I left work and said I was headed home and couldn't wait to spend some alone time with him. When I got home, he wasn't there. I texted him again. Nothing. And again. Nothing. On about the 4th or 5th try, I got an answer. A big long text about how he wasn't happy and he didn't want to be married to me anymore. He more or less asked for a divorce, via text message, on my birthday. The moment I read it I knew he didn't write it. At first I thought it was one his guy friends that wrote it but after I read it a few more times I realized the things that were said were not something a man says to a woman he's leaving, but we're were things a woman says to a man. It was written by a woman. It said things like "I've been doing a lot of soul searching" and "I love you but I'm not in love with you" and my favorite line,, "ultimately I have to do what's best for me". We were together 17 years. Married for 13. We had a beautiful daughter that was 14 at the time he left. She was daddy's little girl her whole life up until then. He left us for a younger woman with 2 small children. Girls. Our daughter has been fighting demons since that day. Only recently has she got back on the right track. It's been 12 years since this happened but I still struggle with it sometimes. I'm beginning to think the wound will never fully heal. I feel like I'll never find love again. I'm damaged goods. No man wants to deal with that.
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