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starrydaze
3 235 M Embraced 2
Starry-eyed & dazed <3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts28 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes16 Current upvotes16 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJune 25, 2024
Bio

Learning to make peace with my depression, anxiety, trauma & mistrust šŸŒŒ

Black Female Bisexual African with ADHD living in the UK

Recent forum posts
Waves of pain + numbness
General Support / by starrydaze
Last post
 4 hours ago
...See more Iā€™ve lost all my friends, enddd my relationship a few hours ago with a man I used to refer to as my husband (not even engaged, I just wanted to spend my forever with him) and Iā€™ve also lost like half of my family because they do juju stuff and act so sus and Iā€™d rather not be involved anymore and Iā€™m also still processing the SA case that happened to me a year ago and iā€™m trying to find a new job and everything is just too much. I get waves of absolute rage and then overwhelming feelings of sadness and pain before I eventually settle into a somewhat blissful period of numbness and Iā€™m trying so hard to focus on myself and block out all noice but instead I end up paralysed and rotting in bed, smoking šŸƒ to try and cope with everything going on and move on but I just canā€™t I canā€™t trust anyone
Stay with my LoveBomber???
Relationship Stress / by starrydaze
Last post
 June 26th
...See more i want my boyfriend to feel excited to text me rather than just scrolling on his phone? I donā€™t mean when weā€™re in person, I mean when weā€™re apartā€¦ I get so happy and excited to message him back and he says he hates being on his phone but then heā€™ll tell me how heā€™s been scrolling on *** for ages or just using his phone in general to seemingly do everything but text me. Its only when I tell him that Iā€™m going to sleep or going out that heā€™ll finally respond back quickly and itā€™s very annoying because of how he used to chase me constantly when our relationship was new. Like heā€™d spam me on *** with the sweetest and romantic reels, heā€™d intentionally press the ā€œNotify Anywayā€ button when my phone was on Do Not Disturb to catch my attention and he would frequently declare his attraction to me or reciprocate my affection via text but now he doesnā€™t do any of that anymore and I feel like I just got lovebombed Heā€™s been through a lot in his childhood growing up so it makes me think that heā€™s developed an avoidant-attachment as if I try and address his lack of affection (only via text btw/in person, heā€™s quite lovey-dovey but I hardly see him in person these days so text is the only way I can connect with him) he gets very defensive and starts talking about how heā€™s been so stressed with his new job or with moving house soon and his elderly dog passed away recently so itā€™s not helping even more so I try to be understanding especially because of his dog though Iā€™d just like some kind of reciprocation because Iā€™ve barely felt it even before his dog passed away so idk what to do anymore because heā€™s met all of my extremely high standards initially and our futures are the exact same thing so itā€™s hard to decide to move on to someone else but is that really the best option at this point? Will I cause myself more disappointment and confusion or is it really best just to let go?? Even after heā€™s lost his dog????Ā  IdkĀ 
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