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sparklygreenkitty
824 M Little Steps 1
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes20 Current upvotes20 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2017 Member sinceSeptember 10, 2016
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35 and not proud of myself
Depression Support / by sparklygreenkitty
Last post
 January 11th, 2018
...See more I've made some bad life choices and I feel stuck. Nobody seems to want to help me, but trying to dig myself out of my mess gets me in deeper. To start, I chose English as my degree. I'm horrible at math and science, so I went with what I knew best. There's no real job market for people like me. I left a pathetic, sex-obsessed manchild for someone I thought was better. Ten years later, I've come to accept that this man is no better. He's obsessed with proving his "nerd cred" by buying toys and trying to get his podcast heroes to notice him. He's gotten into severe credit card debt. What he's spent it on, I don't know, but he gets defensive when it's brought up. I work in retail inventory, a job that's steadily ruining my body. I have SI joint issues, and I injure myself every week. Any time I've tried to take a chance to improve my situation it makes things worse or nothing comes of my attempt. I should have been somewhere by now, made something of myself. But I don't have anyone really cheering me on or aiding me in finding a solution. I just keep plodding along, working on my personal projects as a means to bide my time until death comes along. I have nothing to show for my efforts, and I honestly wonder if there's a point in continuing.
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