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spacielacie
990 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 13 Compassion hearts125 Forum posts13 Forum upvotes83 Current upvotes83 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceMay 29, 2022
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Relationship Stress / by spacielacie
Last post
 January 11th, 2023
...See more So last night my boyfriend and I were just talking, like having deep conversations and he accidentally told me something that he has never mentioned before. We have been together for 4 years. I always knew that he lost his virginity to his babysitter but I guess I just never questioned the ages or anything. Well somehow during the conversation age was brought up and he said that he couldn’t really remember what age he was when he lost his virginity. So I just started tossing out ages like 13,15 etc. and he said no I was younger than that. He said he couldn’t remember the exact age but he believes he was around 10. So I just took that information in and it made me think well how old was the babysitter so I asked him. He said she was in her twenties. I didn’t know what to do or say. He’s never told me that before. So after a good few minutes of silence I asked him you know that’s not okay right? And his response was well I do now. I am also a victim of SA and I just don’t have any idea of what to do or feel or say about this. I tried to get him to talk more about it but he wouldn’t. He quickly changed the subject. I know I can’t force him to talk about it or anything I just really have no clue on what to do. I know that may sound dumb but I’m just having so many emotions flood through my brain. I’m hoping maybe just getting it off my chest will help some.
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Just why?
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by spacielacie
Last post
 August 31st, 2022
...See more Why do I love drugs? Why does my fiancé love drugs? How did we let our lives spiral out of control like this? Where do I turn? What do I do? What if when I say I’m done he doesn’t want to stop? I’m so lost and confused. I’m completely exhausted and broken.
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Relapse
Alcohol & Drug Addiction Support / by spacielacie
Last post
 June 19th, 2022
...See more So I relapsed a couple weeks ago and ever since it’s been like a blur. I don’t know why I thought I could handle “just one more time” I’m so embarrassed and ashamed but I just keep getting more. No one knows except for my coworker/friend who confronted me about it and when she did I lied. Actually I promised her that I wasn’t using again. I feel horrible about it. When I’m not using I literally only manage to go to work and come home and sit on the couch. I’m so lazy when I’m not using I feel like. I know it isn’t true but I constantly tell myself that using makes me a better mom, well a better everything. Because as long as I’m high I can keep up with everyone’s demands and I can be happy and social. I just can’t seem to figure how to be those things while I’m sober. My parents are coming to visit this weekend and I’m absolutely terrified. They are a big reason why I’m so messed up due to childhood trauma, them both being narcissistic, and abusive but they don’t think they are. In their eyes they were great parents. My dad has been addicted to something my entire life and my mom is his enabler. My dad always knows when I’m using and then obviously tells my mom. I don’t want them to know that I’m on it again but I feel like if I quit now then I’ll just sleep or be grouchy while they are here and that will upset them too. I’m lost as to what to do at this point. I can’t believe I fell back into the trap again. I was doing so good and now it’s all down the drain. Thanks for letting me get at least some of the weight off my chest.
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