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skincade
414 M Embraced 3
PathStep 29 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2015 Member sinceOctober 21, 2015
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So, this is me...
Depression Support / by skincade
Last post
 October 28th, 2015
...See more Hi, I'm Surri. (I kinda feel like I should hear the obligatory "Hi, Surri" come from my laptop now.. hah) I'm a single mother of two children, divorced, also a student and employee. I was diagnosed with manic depression and anxiety about 6 years ago, was medicated for about 2 years, but don't currently have insurance, so I have been unmedicated for 4 years. My children and I live with my parents and they're not very emotionally supportive. I've felt like nothing but a failure and a disappointment to them for years. I'm afraid to even talk honestly with my dad because I feel like I'll be judged and put down. I'm afraid to finish college because I really don't know what to do next. I'm afraid that I can't even finish college because, where I once felt smart, I now feel like a total idiot in the classroom. I have major difficulty focusing because all my other worries won't leave me alone. My exhusband isn't responsible with our children when he gets them. His mother is not well and hears voices and encourages my children to listen for the voices and that they're real. He's currently separated from his second wife, with whom I'm actually friends. She's great with the kids and has helped me raise them more than my ex has, but she's a 4 hour drive away now and my ex is complicating visits with her. They're pursuing a divorce which has complicated my life with the kids and he is currently living with a new girlfriend which complicates things even more. I don't feel like I can stand up to anyone for what I feel is right for myself or for my children and there's a lot of shame and guilt there and from other things. Anyway. I guess this is just one giant brain dump to get things out of my head so maybe I can write this stupid paper that I have due for class on Friday. Help would be appreciated if possible.
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