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sensitivePineapple6607
304 M Embraced 2
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts14 Forum upvotes15 Current upvotes15 Age GroupAdult Last activeSeptember, 2022 Member sinceOctober 23, 2021
Recent forum posts
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Abusive relationships and work
Relationship Stress / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 June 26th, 2022
...See more what do I do when I just got out of an abusive relationship of 4 years and I’m torn to pieces living at home with my parents now who also were abusive to me growing up and trying so hard to catch up on all the work that I put off for so long while in the relationship? My performance reviews are coming up next week and I just feel so overwhelmed because I haven’t met ANY of my goals. Now it’s piled on so high and I can’t focus at all. On top of it I have strep and took 2 days off last week. I feel like my only option is to quit my job and take time to heal. But I’m worried about doing that because I have such a good job.
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Feeling insecure
Relationship Stress / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 May 3rd, 2022
...See more I’m feeling insecure after a breakup and still live with my ex. I have been going on dates and having sex on the first date a lot just to get my mind off of my ex and for validation/re-assurance. Then I keep getting more hurt because after that the guys are barely showing interest anymore and it’s only on their terms. I don’t know how to not feel the need to go to other guys during this time. I don’t want to be home around him and I want attention from other guys and to keep myself as busy as possible. I need the close intimacy that comes even before and after even if it only lasts the night with the person.
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Moving back home after a breakup
Relationship Stress / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 February 27th, 2022
...See more I was independently living in nyc before him but then we moved in together to a new city and everything changed 3 years later. I don’t have the financial means to get an apartment on my own and I can’t go back to roommates again while feeling like I just want to bawl my eyes out in my room and not knowing where to even go since my job is remote and I don’t have a lot of friends in this new city anyways. I’m thinking moving back home is the best answer for now. Any advice on living with your parents again after a breakup? especially when it seems like my mom isn’t supportive of the breakup. I’ve stayed with him for this long by a lot of influence from my mom… both her advice and the relationship I’ve witnessed her having with my dad my whole life.. aka not one I want for myself.. aka why I’m making the tough choice to end this relationship even though I care so much about him
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Open relationship
Relationship Stress / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 February 24th, 2022
...See more my serious boyfriend of 3 years who I’ve been living with and have a dog with agreed on us seeing other people but he hasn’t gone out with anyone else yet and I already found someone who I’m catching feelings for more than I would’ve thought and I’ve only been talking to him online for 2 days. What does this say about me or about our relationship?
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Sex
Relationship Stress / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 September 26th, 2023
...See more What do you do if your partner just isn’t as sexual as you? But you’re also not the sexual dominant type. You’re more of a submissive type but you don’t want it to be vanilla all the time. You want to try new things and spice things up and have more frequent sex. I’ve tried to introduce new things as best as I can but I need him to at least try and meet me halfway sometimes on changing things up
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Social media
Relationship Stress / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 June 27th, 2023
...See more Anytime I look at my boyfriends social media his “FYP” is always half naked girls.. he says it’s from the past but we’ve been dating nearly 3 years, live together, and have a dog together. How would it still be there after 3 years? also his top Instagram and Snapchat stories and feed are always random girls that he says “just some girl from college” and then he says “I don’t even go on social media” but then I see a post saying “you’re all caught up! You’ve seen all the posts from the last 3 days” so clearly he looks. I don’t even know when because we’re together nearly 24/7 (we work from home together). In the past I’ve seen him Snapchat message random girls and dm random girls. It’s never flirty or anything but still bothers me because I have no idea who these girls are and him saying he went to college with them means nothing to me. He also used to like every single girls pictures like all the bikini pictures and stuff it really bothered me. I think he finally stopped doing that but it took 3 times of me catching him doing it and saying how much it bothered me. He claims it’s mindless and he doesn’t think anything of it. now I know it probably sounds bad, but I wouldn’t be asking for advice if it was that simple. I want to mention that I know he cares a lot about me and he’s been by my side through thick and thin. He has so many good qualities and he really isn’t a douchey guy or anything. I just think he’s very dumb? but who knows maybe he’s just good at playing dumb? I feel crazy here.
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Alcohol and relationships
Trauma Support / by sensitivePineapple6607
Last post
 October 29th, 2021
...See more ive Always been very shy. I remember in high school I found a note from my preschool teacher to my parents.. basically saying she was very very concerned for me, how I wouldn’t play with the other kids and I would just sit by myself all day. I wouldn’t even talk to anyone she said. It was a long note suggesting to my parents that I needed to get help. Seeing this in high school really affected me because then it felt like a truth to things I had been feeling then like there was something wrong with me in who I was. At the same time my dad had always been very abusive, mentally, and physically. While my mom stuck with him the whole time even when he was to her the whole time too. They both would always throw me in the middle so that they’d make me feel the fight would be completely my fault and both abuse me. At the age of 12 I met a guy who made me feel comfortable and special. 2 years later he sexually abused me. I cut myself and was so suicidal blaming myself until I had nowhere else to turn but my mom.. bad mistake as she was going through her own mental health breakdown. After telling her she ended up in a psych hospital calling me from the hospital absolutely like a different crazy person took over. She also told my dad what had happened to me after I made her promise not to. This made me blame myself even more. I made a few friends who were bad influences in high school and convinced me into going with them to a party. My journey with alcohol began. Sexual abuse from guys happened to me all the time and I don’t really know if I let it or not. I was bullied and I was doing bad at school. I drank myself into a new person for about 8 years. I’ve been in a relationship for the last 2 years of it and it’s been hell because of me. This person I know is one in a million. They treat me right.. but all I can do is self sabotage it. I’ve cheated on this person more than once. I’ve gotten physically angry with this person more than once. They’ve forgiven me and continued to treat me like a princess but why am I still sabotaging it? I’ve realized alcohol has been my problem. I can’t even have a glass to drink anymore without becoming a totally different person. But knowing this, I’ve realized that I’ve only made friends over the years because of alcohol and who I am without it is still that shy little girl I once was. I’m finding it so hard to make friends now. I’ve lost all my old friends because I didn’t want to be part of their toxic drinking culture. I’ve been bullied no matter what I do. Totally bullied by so many people and that’s mainly what is holding me back from making new friends too. That and the social anxiety and depression I’ve now come to terms with that I do have and it didn’t go away from when I was little. That was just alcohol covering it up. I need advice. It’s like I’m more who I am than I ever was in the past 8 years but I hate this person. The person I became I tried to become and it worked.. for a bit. I had all the friends, I had all the parties to go to, I had all the fun.. from the outside. But now it’s like it’s hard to make friends without any friends. Everyone seems to be drinking and going to bars and that’s it. I don’t even know how to have fun or be a fun person to hang around. And social media haunts me because everyone’s always there watching.. everyone from the past who has bullied me and wants to see me fail. Why do I care so much about these superficial things still? Why do I want to be popular and have things to do on the weekends and fit in? Why am I letting my past affect my relationship with someone who I love so much?
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