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samd136
1,265 M Little Steps 4
PathStep 508 Compassion hearts85 Forum posts104 Forum upvotes94 Current upvotes94 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2020 Member sinceJanuary 31, 2016
Bio
I like swimming, hiking, and snowmobling.
Recent forum posts
Help
Depression Support / by samd136
Last post
 June 8th, 2018
...See more I wish I had the courage to die.
All Alone
Depression Support / by samd136
Last post
 July 21st, 2018
...See more I thought my life was going well. I had a good job and a boyfriend. But my boyfriend was drowning me, making me crazy, making me more depressed, I couldnt take it anymore. Plus my boyfriend was my boss at my job. I was already leaving for a new job for other reasons and then I decided I needed to get away from him too. So I broke up with him and had a new job. I felt great for a few weeks. I started seeing someone new too. He was my best friend. Everything was great. Then I got a text from my ex said he was having a hard time without me. He was depressed about me leaving. He said he wanted to kill himself. I couldnt ignore that. Because Ive been there. Thats why Im here on 7 cups. Anyway I couldnt ignore it so I told him I would come see him. Whenever I feel like that I want someone to come see me to show they care. I went and saw him. We just walked around and talked. I didnt think everything would be all wonderful after. He just needed him to know I dont hate him. I love him but I had to walk away. He needed help and I tried to help. The next day I got a text from his sister. She freaked out at me because she thought I was going back to him. Then she went and told my best friend who I had started seeing. I wasnt going back. I was making sure he was okay. I guess that was a bad idea though. Now Im not with my best friend. I dont talk to my ex to save my relationship with my best friend but he didnt want to work it out. So Im alone and have no one. Now Im really depressed
Empty
Depression Support / by samd136
Last post
 May 26th, 2018
...See more I feel empty. Everything seems like my fault. Nothing works out for me. I just dont want to try anymore.
Happy Birthday! Not.
Depression Support / by samd136
Last post
 July 25th, 2017
...See more Happy birthday to me tomorrow. I feel like people plan to hangout with me out of pity. No one cares. No one knows me so when I get presents, if I get them at all, its something that I don't care about or won't use. Last year i got a lunch box.... wtf. I had to be suddle and drop hints that I didnt really have anything going on and no one had anything planned for me. I wish I wasn't sad and was able to be more friendly and outgoing. Maybe people would want to make my birthday actually special. It doesn't help that my mom's birthday is after mine so we do a shared party. Which I hate. I want one day to myself. For people to care and it always seems to get messed up or its just pointless because no one really knows me and what I like. Idk. I just had to get that off my chest. Idk if it makes sense.
Confession
Safety & Knowledge at 7 Cups / by samd136
Last post
 May 30th, 2017
...See more I want to die. I think about all the ways I could do it. I think about maybe getting help. I need help. I know I do. I want help. I just don't know where to go.
What to do?
General Support / by samd136
Last post
 May 19th, 2017
...See more I've been struggling with what to do in my love life, my work life, with my family. Nothing seems right anymore. A lot of the time I want to pack up and leave everything behind and start over somewhere new and as a new me. The new me being less afraid, more outgoing, just be better in all the ways I think need to be changed. I'm comfortable where I am but yet I still think things needs to change. I want different opportunities and challenges but it's hard for me to get up and just go do it.
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