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quietnomore
1 5,657 M Moving Along 1
PathStep 8 Compassion hearts422 Forum posts18 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2024 Member sinceApril 2, 2020
Recent forum posts
Toxic Family
35 & Over Community / by quietnomore
Last post
 December 26th, 2022
...See more Just trying to survive the holidays.. When it comes to life-long trauma from toxic family interactions, it’s always difficult to put into words what I’m feeling or going through. I probably need therapy, but I still can’t afford it. I wish cutting ties is simple.
Advice wanted
35 & Over Community / by quietnomore
Last post
 January 2nd, 2022
...See more I am feeling anxious and upset, because my cousin who’s been living in NYC is back home for the holidays. We’re having a family get together for her that I’d rather not attend. She’s my older cousin and she dislikes me. Among all my cousins, she has a mean streak and she’s not hesitant to show it. We’ve only met a few times in the past decade but she was always cold towards me and treated me passive-agressively. She’s close with my parents and my siblings but she treats me differently. My mother has this habit of telling other people that I’m the black sheep of the family and that I’m making her miserable in one way or another, so I think that’s what happened with my cousin. My mother likes to portray herself as a victim so she makes me out to be a villain, usually to others in the family and to her friends. My mother spent some time with my cousin in NY, when she was there visiting so I suspect that’s why she’s unkind to me. This happened before, a friend of my mom’s who spends time with us every now and then, bullied me when I was a teen up til my twenties. I’m usually quiet, I keep to myself, I barely use social media, I’m shy and insecure because I’m not as successful as my siblings and my cousins and I have a career that’s useless in my parent’s eyes- all this makes me an easy scapegoat and target. It hurts that my cousin never tried to connect with me or tried to see my side of the story before she decided to treat me so coldly. It hurt all the other times other people did as well. I’m still at a point where i’m trying to understand and slowly heal from the trauma and baggage caused by my relationship with my mother. I don’t know what to do, should I go to the reunion? she doesn’t like me so it’s not like I’m wanted there. I feel like it’ll just be an opportunity for her to verbally put me down or put me on the spot in some way. It’ll be rude if I don’t show up. Am I being a wimp? Should I just suck it up and learn to take the punches? I’m not even sure I’m strong enough to endure that.
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