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practicalFarm8971
166 M Embraced 1
PathStep 3 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts8 Forum upvotes9 Current upvotes9 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2016 Member sinceMay 8, 2015
Recent forum posts
Juggling work and depression
Depression Support / by practicalFarm8971
Last post
 August 20th, 2015
...See more Hi guys, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time, but recently in the last 6 months or so it's become really bad. See I started a new job 18 months ago. The manager I was working under wasn't the nicest person and joked that I was too nice and they would break me. 6 months into the job they were fired and I was left to make so with little to no training. I managed to pull it together and management were happy with me. I then tried to integrate into a new team. It was difficult as my skill level was low (legal work requires a lot of process that I had not been taught) and staff didn't have the time to teach me. I was given a very high workload with very little support. I did what I could but certainly wasn't able to meet my budget requirements as most of my work was administration. I was ready to quit by the end of the year but a very supportive and understanding colleague talked me out of it, stating that it would be like a new job as my direct manager would be back full time. I agreed to give it a shot. The issue is, he's a very intense person and part of my role (implied) is to keep him from blowing up at other employees. Recently I haven't been able to deal with his issues and mine at the same time. I have asked for help and spoken to HR but being a small business there is little room for lateral movement. It doesn't help that HR has their own issues and was an outright horror to me when I tried to speak to them. It feels like the rest of the office are able to hide behind the "I can't handle confrontation" "I'm too busy" and "not my problem" excuses but I'm expected to suck it up. Asking for help seems to get me no where, I keep screwing up because I don't know what to do but no one seems to want to assist. And when I ask if there's something I can improve on they tell me "don't stress" "you worry too much" and "don't take it personally", yet at my recent review they've revealed that everyone hates me and I'm essentially a drain on the team. I've worked my butt off supporting these people and trying to meet their expectations bt can't seem to win. I want to fix it but I don't know how and it's really making it hard to cope with my other issues.
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